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People are cruel...
We had dinner with my husband's grandparents last night. When I refused an offered piece of butter-bread saying, “it’s not good for my diet,” my grandfather-in-law said, “It’s good your dieting. I see pictures of you in your bikinis from when we went to the beach, and that’s certainly not the Deborah we have now!” … … … All I could say in response was, “I’m aware I need to lose weight.”
But did he HAVE to say that? I’d just told the man I was watching what I eat. And does he forget I had a baby just over a year ago? I’m working on it, ass hole! Grrrrr… And my husband didn’t understand why I was so upset because, “he was just joking.”
I wish I were one of those people to have a quick retort, but I was too hurt. And what could I say? I agree with him. I’m aware I can’t wear a bikini right now. Did he have to say it though?? I’ve had a really hard time with my body image since having my little girl. (Not that I ever LOVED my body to begin with) But I’ve really been trying to love my body at whatever size it is. But that was the worst thing he could have said to me. I went home and just bawled. I was honestly just hoping that the body I saw in my head wasn’t the body everybody else saw. But when I said that, it told me people do see me as heavier.
I’m not going to let it make me binge or screw up my diet. Nor has it motivated me to diet/exercise harder. It simply pissed me off and really hurt my feelings – not to mention my self esteem…
What is wrong with people!?
Diet Calendar Entries for 20 January 2011:
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1351 kcal
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Fat: 52.40g | Prot: 68.78g | Carb: 157.46g.
Breakfast: Belgian Chocolate Toffee Creamer, Coffee with Sugar, 2% milk, Cheerios. Lunch: Fat Free Ranch Dressing, Antipasto Salad. Dinner: Easy Express Rigatoni with Chicken. Snacks/Other: Mints, Crystal Light. more...
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2379 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Child Care - 3 hours, Desk Work - 8 hours, Resting - 6 hours and 40 minutes, Sleeping - 6 hours, Driving - 20 minutes. more...
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 Comments
At your weight you absolutely have nothing to be so upset over. I commend you for taking the initiative to lose weight but don't get so down on yourself. There are millions of people in this country that are in far worse shape than you can even imagine and they aren't nearly as hard on themselves as you are being. Good luck with your program and stay positive. If you don't lose any weight one week, stick with it. The winter is the best time to create a new you. That's how I'm looking at it. Have a good day and keep your chin up!
20 Jan 11 by member: GogglesPaesano
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I'm 5'2" so 145lbs on that frame isn't great. But don't worry, I'm sticking with it 'till I reach my goal and even after that so I maintain. I just don't understand how people who are supposed to support you can try to tear you down like that. Who needs to hear that? And like you said, It's not like I've gained THAT much that it merits such comments... Thanks for the encouragement though.
20 Jan 11 by member: deb_bluerose
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I have an uncle who is the same way. When I was working out hard about 3 years ago after gaining some weight after getting married my aunt complemented me that the hard work was paying off. This jerk of an uncle of mine responded, "well good, because you had gotten really fat but no one was man enough to tell you." Thanks a lot Uncle! Family can sometimes be your worst enemy. I would have appreciated someone pulling me aside when I was close to 260 and saying something but not like that!
20 Jan 11 by member: GogglesPaesano
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Yes, there are much kinder ways to say things like that. But all I heard was, "you used to look good and now... not-so-much." You can encourage people without tearing them down. Stupid people... LOL
20 Jan 11 by member: deb_bluerose
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I'm so sorry you had to experience that made me want to cry . That was a awful thing to say , don't give him the joy of seeing you cry ok? Chin up and focus on your health :)
21 Jan 11 by member: vanessa896
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Thanks so much, Vanessa! I didn't let him see me cry. I pretty much avoided him the rest of dinner - just kept my attention on feeding my daughter. I didn't lose it 'till we left... But thankfully my husband is being supporting, even if his family isn't.
And I can't express how much I appreciate the encouragement around here!:)
21 Jan 11 by member: deb_bluerose
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Wow, sounds like something my mother in law would say!!
Sorry you got your feelings hurt, at least you were able to hold back the water works till AFTER you left, i dont think i couldve!!
21 Jan 11 by member: TheChunkyOne
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No thank you is needed it awful that you had to go thru that :(
21 Jan 11 by member: vanessa896
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Thanks ChunkyOne (though you need to change that name, you look awesome!). What's with in-law's, huh? Aren't they supposed to treat us like part of the family? If their kids love us, shouldn't that be good enough? Oh well. My hubby loves me, so that's all that matters. His family can suck it, LOL! Not all of them are that bad. Most of the time I feel like part of the family. Though today, my husband mentioned to his Grandmother that I'd been doing well and only eating around 1200 calories a day, and all she could say was, "800 would be better..." ... I said, "No way! That's not a healthy way to diet - not for me. I'd be sick only eating that every day!" She just said, "whatever works for you."
21 Jan 11 by member: deb_bluerose
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