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I have been having a lot of 'diety' thoughts lately.
I'm trying my hardest to just listen to my body, and let my body do what it needs to do. Well i'm up to 138.6 this week and was starting to freak out about having to enter a gain this week. I started thinking about all the things that i 'cant have' between now and weigh in time to ensure that i have a loss.
The i realized, its not even a full pound and i'm on my period. It just hit me how obsessive i've been in the past, and thats not how i want to be. I want this new lifestyle to stick for the rest of my life. I want to learn how to eat everything i could ever desire, in moderation. I want to learn to ignore the scale and just look at myself. I'm done with the diet mentality. Its not healthy and it doesnt make me any happier. It makes me stress and it makes me feel bad about myself. Like i'm not good enough becuase my weight has gone up .4 of a pound during my period.
I really need to learn to love myself and trust my body. Why is that so hard?
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