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Ok... its valentine's day 2020.
I met my friend for lunch at McDonald's so the kids could play and I got a salad and coffee.
Then we took the kids to little gym.
Then to Walmart to get stuff for the family.
I had some sugar free peanut butter cups and a diet dr.pepper. normally I'm against fake sugar but... I'm just coming off of a fatty binge so I'm trying to be kind to myself.
For dinner I had green beans and shrimp.
Theres a dozen donuts in front of me and a batch of cookies on the stove. I havent touched any of it.
My joints are all screaming. My knees feel terrible. My hands hurt. My guts hurt (endo adhesions were pulled causing inflammation), my back is in awful shape. But I still made it out of the house and walked around the store.
I'm sure my knees will feel better with some losses.... but that pain probably wont get better till I lose 15 or 20 pounds.
I gotta eat cleaner and see if that helps the joint pain. I am gluten intolerant and if I have anything related to wheat I cant walk the next day due to joint pain..... so I should eat at home more so I know what's happening to my food.
My back.. well I need to do the back exercises that I know will help.
And I need to do light stretching yoga to help with the full body's cramps and muscle spasms.
Sure is a lot of work being chronically ill. And somedays it all hurts too much and makes we wonder why I bother trying to go on.
I've lived my life in constant pain since about 17. Doctors never listened. Told me I was crazy or attention seeking.
Finally was diagnosed with endometriosis then I learned how it ripps your life apart. I looked back and realized all the complaints I had were all symptoms.
There is no cure.
The best treatment you can get is excision surgery....
I'm fat.
I have central sleep apnea and obstructive.
I need to lose weight and get as healthy as I can to lessen my apnea symptoms and increase the positive benefits of excision surgery.
I have to stay on track this time to get any sort of pain relief. Cause right now, if it weren't for my family, I wouldn't bother living like this....
I have to keep trying.
Diet Calendar Entry for 14 February 2020:
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1439 kcal
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Fat: 69.54g | Prot: 107.93g | Carb: 109.56g.
Breakfast: Iced Coffee with Cream. Lunch: Dr. Pepper Diet Dr. Pepper, McDonald's Southwestern Salad. Dinner: Butter , Great Value Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Birds Eye Steamfresh Cut Green Beans, Kroger Cooked Cocktail Shrimp. Snacks/Other: Clementines , Old Trapper Peppered Beef Jerky, Reese's Sugar Free Mini Peanut Butter Cups. more...
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