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...Please forgive me for what I am about to say but this journal entry has nothing to do with you or your journey.
You may relate to it, you may hate it and you may be offended by my honesty. Unfortunately, this isn't about you...it's about me and my inability to be honest and good to myself.
I am here to face myself. I am here to face my fears. I am here to face my lies. I am here to face a lifetime of excuses.
I AM HERE TO FINALLY ADDRESS 57.5 YEARS OF PERSONAL FAILURE.
NO MORE EXCUSES!
Our family went to see our son and his family on the 3rd of December. He lives in Washington DC. We live in Nevada.
Let me cut to the chase by saying it was the most physically depressing time I have ever had. The issue had nothing to do with my weight and at the same time it had everything to do with it.
Fatsecret is a wonderful page. I have tremendous respect for a lot of successful weight loss losers. I am not one of them!
I am a phony! I have Lived my whole life as a weak, excuse driven liar who has sabotaged a lifetime of possibilities. I don't work hard, I have no self control and all this had lead to a life of disappointment and disconnect.
Oh, did I mention my desperate desire to be accepted? Absolutely pathetic!
My goal is to be great. My goal is to be a symbol of purpose and love for my family and what can be achieved with effort, discipline and facing challenges head on. Nothing in life worth having is easy.
The secret to success is hard work...nothing less.
I personally wouldn't know though because I am the king of finding the easy way out. I guess this public line-in-the-sand is my coming out party to call myself out and finally change the desperate desires I have to be a different man.
I have no issues with anyone responding or leaving a comment but I won't respond. Why? Because this is personal. I am here to publicly call myself out.
If I say something that resonates with you, I am glad. If I say something that you don't agree with....great, I am being consistent with who I've been my whole life.
This is the last effort I will make and if I fail, I will accept that I am a failure.
I am just not ready to say that. I need to do this for myself, my family and the way I want to be remembered when my life finally expires.
Diet Calendar Entry for 30 December 2019:
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1715 kcal
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Fat: 54.71g | Prot: 72.31g | Carb: 249.44g.
Breakfast: Quick Oatmeal (1 or 3 Minutes). Dinner: Langers Cranberry Juice Cocktail, Ginger Ale, Panda Express Chow Mein, Kirkland Signature Hickory Smoked Spiral Sliced Ham, Cooked Green Peas (from Frozen). more...
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