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So i started this a while ago... then stopped. I did good working out- P90X daily, walking the dog... then the inlaws came to town and I got out of my routine and never got into it. Then I started swimming laps in the pool, but not consistently enough to do anything for me. And now I am the biggest I have ever been and its depressing. Now I am not sitting here and saying I am huge- I dont want ppl to take me as that b*tchy little girl who says she is fat- you know the type. I'm not saying I am fat- Im just the biggest I have ever been. I went home recently to visit family and the first words out of my grandpa were "Wow, so you have put on some weight". I tried to laugh it off but it sucks that people notice. I mean i know the scale has been creeping up but you dont really notice it in yourself when its gradual (well i do notice when I try to put on clothes and they dont fit)
And then i went to my old job the other day to say hi. And again with the "Oh you have put on some weight... but it's 'good weight'". Can someone please tell me what is 'good weight'???
I was never a twig... i always had my little pooch thing that most of us normal girls have. And I think on one or 2 occasions I had a flat stomach (and when I say occasions I mean for like a week one time when I worked out like crazy to meet up with an ex in Fl, and one period of my life when I was on drugs and I didnt eat). But i just feel depressed. I can feel the jiggle and i cant fit into my clothes. And when I do shove myself into them, i can feel myself fighting to rip thru them and its uncomfortable. I cant really afford to go out shopping at the moment so i am stuck feeling like a marshmellow or wearing the sweats... so much fun! Yay to the 30 or so pounds i have put on in the last year year and a half... But for some credit- I did quit smoking recently which I know plays a part in this all but still- one bad habit for the next???
So this time I am determined. I want to work out, eat healthy and all that snaz. I have the app on my phone for this site and I really wanna do it. So out with the junk food and in with the salads and fruit smoothies. *Ulch* Lets see how this goes this time
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