shadowx1110's Journal, 11 March 2013

Really disappointed in myself this morning. I got some low carb yogurt and Atkins bars this weekend. Some of that stuff is too good, I always go back for more and I end up binging, I can't seem to control myself. I was on schedule to be under 230 today, instead I'm 235. I put myself at least another week behind. I wanted to be under 200 before my birthday, May 23rd. Maybe that could still happen or I could at least get really close but not if I keep doing this. Grrr shadow get with it!
235.0 lb Lost so far: 115.0 lb.    Still to go: 85.0 lb.    Diet followed poorly.

Diet Calendar Entries for 11 March 2013:
801 kcal Fat: 48.88g | Prot: 69.25g | Carb: 21.01g.   Breakfast: egg. Lunch: brocolli, chicken kiev. Dinner: Dijon Pork Casserole. Snacks/Other: Tea (Brewed), Mozzarella Cheese, water. more...
3212 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 7 hours, Desk Work - 7 hours and 30 minutes, Driving - 1 hour, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 30 minutes. more...
on diet Atkins   gaining 7.5 lb a week


OK maybe the fallout from my binge this weekend won't be too bad. I only gained 3lbs over the weekend, and stepping on the scale this afternoon showed a promising loss today... but I can't help but think of where I would be today if I had stuck to my diet completely. Imagine where I'd be if I had gotten back on and stayed on right after Christmas. Ugh I get so mad at myself when I think of THAT. 3 months down the drain... so much time wasted. At least I didn't gain back a lot of weight during that time. So... plan of action to deal with this problem of mine: tracking carbs, tracking carbs, tracking carbs. I do this all week but on the weekends I get lazy. If I happen to have a day where I'm low on carbs (15g) then and only then will I indulge in a low carb treat. I'm so close to being in the 220's, I need to get there once and for all and keep focused enough to carry me to my goal. I CANNOT and WILL NOT give up on this.  
11 Mar 13 by member: shadowx1110
I had to get rid of the Atkins bars completely. I noticed that the entire time that I was eating them, even sticking to the two per day rule, I was unable to lose any weight. As soon as I stopped eating them I began to lose again. I know what you mean about wasted time. I feel as if I have done the same thing and now I am having to lose the same weight that I had previously lost. But, we can do this!! And, we are definately worth it!  
11 Mar 13 by member: nchls328
Hey, you have done wonderful!! We all mess up, but we pick up and we keep on going. Life is a journey, and we learn as we go. The thing is to remember what does not work, and not repeat it. To learn from our life lessons. I believe everything happens for a reason, and you are a better person B/C of what you have gone thru!!! You go girl!!! 
11 Mar 13 by member: Shari22
I agree with Shari. You've done great. Looking at it another way, those months off showed you can maintain it... Okay you gained a little... But it was only a little and an lb or two a month isn't that bad, so long as you look at the scale every other month and take it back off again. WHICH you are doing now! 
11 Mar 13 by member: riocaz
Shari _and nchls_ I should have said. Great to have you back BTW. 
11 Mar 13 by member: riocaz
Shadowx1110 you gave the tip about teh atkins bars and I quit eating them immediately within two days I was in ketosis and as much I want to weigh I am making myself wait for Thursday - Thursday is my weigh day. Thank you for helping me. 
11 Mar 13 by member: Stugators
Thank you all for your words of support and encouragement! It has truly been a struggle to get myself under control the past few months. I spend the weekdays on my diet and then as soon as the weekend comes and goes on Monday sure enough I've put myself behind again. It used to be easier to abstain, I don't know what happened to my mindset, but I'm working on some things to get myself back to thinking why I started doing this in the first place! That was a huge motivator in me saying NOOOO to treats.  
12 Mar 13 by member: shadowx1110
Nchls- I think I'm going to have to do that, and when I want to have an atkins bar or low carb yogurt, then buy 1 of it to keep the rest out of the house. The atkins bars are trickier because they come in a box and I'm liable to eat the whole box in one day!!! And that's mainly my problem. I wish they sold 1 serving of these instead in a box, it would be easier to moderate myself.  
12 Mar 13 by member: shadowx1110
Shari & riocz- Thank you girls, I will keep working on it and yes learn from my mistakes!! I'm hitting a place where I'm definitely learning more about my eating habits and have to learn to change the deeply ingrained ones like binge eating. Though I didn't really track my weight during the few months after Christmas, I managed to keep my weight in a 15 lb range of 230 so it was very nice to see that I could maintain my weight for when I get to my goal. Now I just have to get there!  
12 Mar 13 by member: shadowx1110
Stugators- Great, I'm so glad I could help!! xD This journey is one full of trial and error. If you're able to moderate yourself (unlike myself haha) then definitely experiment and try to have a bar once a week and see if it affects you any. I'm only able to have one a week maybe two if I space it out. But I tend to think I can't have that stuff at all in the house because I just end up eating all of it in one day lol.  
12 Mar 13 by member: shadowx1110


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