FullaBella's Journal, 17 August 2019

Driving to Dallas today I was thinking about the reward system I’ve used in the past with my weight loss. ‘When I lose ‘X’ pounds I’m going to ‘Do This Thing’.

I haven’t done it this time around. I think it’s because having failed (five? six?) times already I don’t feel deserving of rewards. Otherwise, how does it balance out? It’s not as if I could ever return all those ‘new clothes’ for a full refund or give back the ‘Spa Days’. Vegas didn’t repossess those celebration weekends. Short of sending Vinnie the Nose to break my kneecaps, how could they?

I considered the ‘health is its own reward’ argument but there are plenty healthy weight people who suffer with illnesses. So if poor health is a punishment what was their crime? No, that can’t be it.

Shouldn’t a reward system have an equally respected method of punishment? Maybe because I’ve never utilized one explains why I have repeated this so many times.

This brought to mind Stephen King's short story ‘Quitter’s, Inc.’ wherein an institute gives a 100% guarantee that they will help people quit smoking and not gain weight. (spoiler alert) They had spies everywhere, so there was no sneaking. If they caught you they kidnapped & tortured members of your family. If you gained weight they cut off (the family member’s) fingers.

Although I wouldn't mind seeing some people in my family tortured I’m hoping I don’t have to resort to anything this extreme.

Diet Calendar Entries for 17 August 2019:
1372 kcal Fat: 99.88g | Prot: 91.40g | Carb: 28.46g.   Breakfast: Coffee, Great Value Half & Half, Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream. Lunch: Shrimp, Broccoli, Marie's Chunky Blue Cheese Dressing, Swiss Cheese, Giant Eagle Cherry Tomatoes, Carrots, Boiled Egg, Iceberg Lettuce (Includes Crisphead Types). Dinner: Fajita Chicken, Cheddar Cheese , HEB Fully Cooked Sliced Seasoned Beef Fajitas. more...
2220 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 24 hours. more...

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Comments 
Interesting... what about buying some clothing. I guess they are not quite like a cruise or anything but I have been happy buying a new swimsuit and my next thing is a new bra. That Steven King thing asks some serious questions about how much we are willing to sacrifice.. maybe 
17 Aug 19 by member: liv001
@Liv - I know, SK is a bit extreme but it's a story that stuck with me a long time. Clothes ... nice... but I'm always going to wear clothes, thin or fat. If I had back all the money I've spent on clothes with 'this is forever' .. I'd be able to buy MRI's for everyone, LOL "you get an MRI and you get an MRI".... 
17 Aug 19 by member: FullaBella
An MRI.... not sure if that IS top of my list.... (Yeah I am in Canada so... that may explain that) 
17 Aug 19 by member: liv001
@Liv - LOL... I've recently kvetched on another journal about the cost of the MRI I had yesterday. It was a joke. It wasn't as expensive as the roof repair but still bugging the crap out of me to have to spend that much. Go Canada... but then, I hear your taxes are high.  
17 Aug 19 by member: FullaBella
Shoes 👠  
17 Aug 19 by member: moopie321
Moopie, Keyten, I love you girls but I'm not soliciting ideas for 'things'. If I regain the weight, I'm not going to get a full refund on the shoes OR the jewelry (( ever try selling back jewelry? It has a 200% mark up.))  
17 Aug 19 by member: FullaBella
Loving all of myself including my reflection in the mirror, new abilities gained, and new opportunities was reward for me. 
17 Aug 19 by member: moopie321
You can divide you efforts up in sections. Like when my daughter got gold stars for doing her chores. Her failure the next week did not wipe out the accomplishments the first week. When I started my weightloss journey last fall that was how I decided to think about it. Not as a do over but as the next step in my journey because I could learn from my losing and gaining weight periods and apply that. I was better for it. I like rewards.  
17 Aug 19 by member: liv001
I still hate exercising but I love being done with it. I hate not being able to eat until I’m stuffed but I like feeling satisfied without the uncomfortable tightening of the pants...  
17 Aug 19 by member: moopie321
Lol I can support you with ⭐️🌟 💫 💕💕💕  
17 Aug 19 by member: moopie321
Moopie I'll take all the love & support you'll give me. But let me ask you, will you hate me, stop supporting me if I post a weight gain? Key & Liv I'm definitely reward oriented. I pamper myself. I'm just trying to figure out 'but if I don't make it... then what?' I dunno... as usual, I'm probably over thinking it. 
17 Aug 19 by member: FullaBella
I do better with both good and negative rewards. At the moment if I meet my weight goal I get a new book. If I end up gaining more than 5 pounds I donate a book (which for me is painful) or spend an afternoon volunteering at the library. Shelving books is exercise and if it's in the kids department also kinda scary 
17 Aug 19 by member: EarthEspressos
No, weight isn’t a linear, as long as the overall trend is in the right direction I’ll know you’re losing fat. 💕💕💕 
17 Aug 19 by member: moopie321
@Earthly -- You may be onto something. For every lb I regain I have to spend a day with kids. Holy smokes! 
17 Aug 19 by member: FullaBella
Now we are back to the Steven King scenario 
17 Aug 19 by member: liv001
Lmao when you said you wouldn’t mind some family members being tortured. Your thoughts are definitely fun to read. Make the reward big enough at the end that you cannot fail or even think about failing. Failing itself is the punishment. There will be many obstacles along the way and you probably will gain at some points but use that to work harder 
17 Aug 19 by member: jonathanbrady
@Liv - no kidding. I was the woman in the restaurant today asking if they had a 'no screaming baby section'. @Jon - thank you. What IS big enough for a five/six time loser?? 
17 Aug 19 by member: FullaBella
Red: “Geology is the study of pressure and time. Thats all it takes really... pressure... and time... That, and big goddamn poster.” Shawshank Redemption. Just keep hammering away at the things you need to do each day to have that result over time. Increase your activity level if healthy enough. His reward was getting out of prison. Depends on what motivates you. 
17 Aug 19 by member: jonathanbrady
@Jon I have never seen that movie but I'm putting it on my watch list now. Thanks! 
18 Aug 19 by member: FullaBella
Don't think too much about it and get er done 
18 Aug 19 by member: AboutMyTribe

     
 

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