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Good morning!
It's Tuesday morning. I sleep BAD, so I am extremely tired this morning. On top of that, I teach tonight, AND I am at work two hours before normal work time. Boo.
I'm saving up some comp hours to take next Monday off, Wife and I have plans. No dinner plans though, I will ensure that I do good - or at least plan ahead so I can fit dinner (or whatever it'll be) into my schedule.
I didn't weigh in this morning. LOL. I was hard enough just to get my mind around putting on socks, so having to deal with the scale was not within my mental reach. :)
I don't really miss the scale, to be honest. I am doing okay.
Yesterday, I stuck to plan, stayed within RDI, and felt amazing doing it. I did my gym time, and had fun with it.
Today, I have it all planned, food wise. Every meal is accounted for, and I know exactly what I will be doing.
I have been very keen on using my FULL RDI today. Tuesdays, probably because I go teach, and food habits are a little different, I tend to go VERY LOW on my calories. Go figure. Trouble is, I either convince myself that I have room for a snack, or I end up SO HUNGRY tomorrow morning.
This time, I have planned breakfast (which I already ate), 2nd breakfast (like the filthy little hobbitses), lunch, afternoon fruit, dinner and finally a smoothie when I come home tonight. Not bad, keeping all that within 1600 calories. 1524, to be exact.
This will give me food all day, and I think I will do just fine.
...
I don't know what it is that makes me sleep so bad at night. I really is frustrating. I'm trying every trick in the book. I don't feel that I worry. I don't feel that I am behind on work. I don't really have any trouble other than my irritation from me not sleeping. The only thing that I am really not satisfied with is my lack of weight loss progress. And I am sure after a day of doing great yesterday, this shouldn't be bugging me all night.
Still, we went to bed around 9 PM, and I woke up at 0:40 AM, and was awake for several hours. I did NOT want to get up, and I am glad I didn't as I eventually fell asleep. It took hours, though, and made it SO hard to get out of bed.
Anyways, that's the past. I'm up, at work, listening to spotify. Enjoying it.
I've been thinking quite a bit about weighing in this last week. I think I'm somewhat scared of the scale these days - probably a result from NOTHING happening for so long. I don't like the frustration of having not lost anything, or even worse - having gained. As some of you know I have been yo-yo-ing for ages, and I really need to move forward.
I think the frustration makes me ruin it a bit. I think the cockiness of having actually lost a good chunk makes me overly brave.
When I see a gain, I go HARD at it. I want to lose that damn weight again, and I push. Hard. Then I lose the weight. Then I get comfortable. Then I gain. Rinse and repeat.
So, this week, since I am already at Tuesday, I wanna see if there is a chance if I do NOT weigh in at all (like I haven't last week), and keep within RDI.
Keeping within RDI is something I should be doing no matter what (duh!), but it's something I haven't been too good at. I know where the traps are, but some days I choose to walk right into them. For no apparent reason.
I do have a new spot of motivation though. I found a motivator - a new deadline. This is NOT the surgery one, but it's about the same time. This one is for April 22nd.
You see, I met a client here at work the other day. We had a great talk, and she is out of my system as a client again. This is a good thing. In my line of work it's about having our clients as short time as possible (no, I'm not in sales...).
However, we got to talk about exercise, and I told her my experiences and about my weight loss. She was absolutely stunned.
This is when she tells me that she works as a journalist on a national newspaper, and that she would really like to tell my story.
Now, me knowing that I used to weigh 75 kgs (if only for a few days), I can NOT do this interview knowing that I weigh 90+ kilos. Not a chance. On top of this, I have my appointment with Doctor Surgeon in early April.
Essentially, it's enough time for me to reach 80 kgs, IF I REALLY PUT MY MIND TO IT! I can do this.
I can do it by NOT starving myself, but simply sticking to my planned RDI. Find the "happy spot" of approx. 1000 calories less than I burn, and by doing good. When the Candy Demon knocks on my door, I need to visualize NOT meeting my goal with Doc Surgeon, and having pictures taken for a national newspaper, and me NOT being at my goal weight. Who wants that?!? lol. So this is my motivator.
You guys are the best buddies. You motivate. You help. You're always there. But having the whole nation judging me, and having to tell in an interview that I USED to have lost 80 kilos, but now it's only 65, that is simply NOT ACCEPTABLE!
So here I go.
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We finally got to meet bossman briefly. We had a meeting, and he popped in for a couple of minutes. He seems nice, but it's kind of weird that we didn't really get to fully meet the guy. I understand that when you start in an exec position as he does, there are a gazillion meeting and things to do. But I would 100% prioritize meeting my team, the ones that I need to perform. Wouldn't you? Anyways, the dude seems like an okay guy, judging from the two minutes we had with him. I am curious to see more.
Today, I'm thankful for:
- Opportunities. Imagine the advertising value of my interview. :)
- Morning coffe. Hmmm... Make that "morning double extra strong espresso.
- Wife surviving my grumpiness this morning.
Happy Tuesday. Life is good!
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