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I haven't weighed in for 2 weeks because I felt guilty. I thought that guilt would help change my behavior and give me control, but that's not working. So today, I weigh in 6lbs over my goal. I was actually up 8lbs but have made a little progress. There is no excuse for this behavior. Life is good right now. I am not eating for comfort.
I'm angry and disgusted with myself, but know from experience that things only get worse with negative thinking. So here is the deal...
My poor choices occur at social functions and when I'm alone at night after dinner. I eat a healthy generous dinner, but then continue to eat until I go to bed. I only keep healthy food in the house, but calories are calories and it's taking a toll. At social functions, I over eat rather than just having smaller portions of tempting food.
So I have made myself a promise. After every social function, I am going to journal my success or failure. More important, at night, when I want to overeat, I am going to first journal what I am feeling and why I feel compelled to eat when I'm not hungry. If I still want to eat after journaling, then I will eat.
No one can solve this problem for me. I love being thin so why am I doing this to myself? No one has noticed the weight gain yet, and I feel the familiar fear of once again being humiliated by gaining back all the weight I have lost. Maybe some blatant honesty in writing will help me solve my mystery and correct this problem.
So glad I have FS to voice my concerns to like minded people.
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131.0 lb
Lost so far: 65.4 lb.
Still to go: 6.0 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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gaining 0.7 lb a week
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