September 29, 2018 - Personal journal entry I want to keep in mind and heart, always
Throughout this process, I am learning to remove words like perfection, excellence, best, more, better, or most from this girl's vernacular as often as possible. These words imply there is some kind of limit or standard and I don't believe in truth there is a limit to the potential of our inner being other than the expectations and boundaries we create within our minds.
As a practicing Buddhist, I do not subscribe to the notion "I am living the best version of myself". The previous versions I inhabited 64 lbs ago helped me to accomplish 3 different academic degrees, travel the world, work within my chosen field, and connect with experiences and individuals that have helped to cultivate the enlightened states of being I now experience in the present.
In fact, experiencing those moments when I can enjoy an enlightened state of being is this girl's definition of health. Those moments when the mind is clear, the heart open, and this form is able to fully connect and engage lovingly with the world around it... IS quintessentially what "health" is to me <3 And, all the choices that have led this woman to live and "be" those moments, I regard as neither good nor bad, but necessary and thus the versions I needed to be in order to get me here.
In fact, when I have these moments - I often say, "I'm living a true version of myself", rather than the best. But, enlightened states of being are not easy states to achieve. As the old Zen saying goes, "before enlightenment, chop wood carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood carry water."
Is losing weight and moving the body the only path to embodying this state of mind? Heck no! LOL. There are an infinite number of paths and experiences that can yield a loving heart, grace in form, and an open clear mind. And, everyone will inevitably find in one way or another the process that resonates fully with that inner truth.
