Soulnoid's Journal, 23 July 2012

Day 183- (Warning a long entry) Ok, I am back after 2 weeks of being on the road at a tradeshow and then a long weekend down the NJ Shore. It was a real test and one that I did not pass very well. As for food I think I did OK, but it was the exercise that went out the window. I only ran once in the 2 weeks and I only had one workout at the beginning of the trip. To my surprise I weighed in at my same weight that I started the trip on.

I can see if I hit the water hard today and eat right, I will flush my system. Then with a good run I will log a loss, so it was more of a break than anything else.

So what was the problem? The best way to put it is, I was never really grounded and for the few times I was, I just wanted to un-plug. We had our whole company at the tradeshow, so every non tradeshow moment something was going on between co-workers, eating, hanging out, etc. Plus I had a roommate most of the time so when in the room there was always some sort of discussion going on about work. I had 2 nights where I hid in the room and one of them I slept and the other is when I got my run in. Another thing to note is while at this event every year the HR gal for our company gives us very strict schedules that we have to follow or she makes our life HELL! It is so bad it makes you wonder how I can survive the other 50 weeks a year making my own schedule and travel plans. All us sales reps stir all week like a wild animal put in a cage. So, I need a better plan for the future during these events. I am not sure how at this point, but I need to work hard on it next time.

While on this trip there were 2 nights, one each week, where I went out to a bar and drank too much. One night was with my boss to his favorite place and I think I spewed too much during our conversation. The second night was a night near the end of the show where I disappeared to a microbrew near our hotel (I love microbrew pubs). I went there by myself to get away from the pack for dinner a few beers. I ended up sitting at the bar and talking to a guy who was a PR person for Wendy’s and we discussed their salads and meats. (Still don’t know if I believe him!) Well after I was into my 4th beer, who comes along but a group of guys from work that just got back from golfing. So stupid me gets up and goes over and sits with them while they eat. Something I really should not have done. I don’t think I did anything bad, but I was the 4-5 beers in to their 1-2…… Who knows what they are saying today….. It may not seem like anything big, but I just don’t want to be known as the drinker and I wake up in the morning feeling guilty. I just don’t need that or want it anymore. This is one of the devils I am fighting on a personal front. Funny thing is, during my long weekend at the shore, I did not drink at all but my wife did. I did not drink because I did not want to hear her bitch about me drinking. I even talked about getting a bottle of wine each night to drink with her and we even went to look at them 2 nights in a row to end up with me saying no and walking out of the store. I really don’t know how I feel about this? She has told me in the past that I become a mean person when I drink, when I think I become a lover, she also tells me I embarrass her. When she drinks she gets very demanding and jealous. I don’t want to get to point where we can’t won’t or can’t drink because we hate each other when we do. I like to have a drink to relax and unwind. My brain needs a break from time to time, LOL.

While away we went shopping at an outlet mall and my wife got a ton of cloths (she is down almost 25lbs). I just could not spend any money on myself. It just felt wrong. ?????

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1344 kcal

Fat: 64.44g | Prot: 81.24g | Carb: 124.20g.   Breakfast: Hard-Boiled Egg, Coffee with Cream. Lunch: romaine lettuce, black olive, Sesame Soy Ginger Vinaigrette, Bell Peppers, Grape Tomatoes, Cucumber (Peeled). Dinner: Cooked Broccoli (from Fresh, Fat Not Added in Cooking), Sweet Italian Links Sausage, Corn On The Cob with Butter. Snacks/Other: Peach, Dry Roasted Unsalted Almonds - Just A Handful. more...