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So I’m finally back on TRACK. Put in my usual chicken, tuna & fruit for the day, and I feel better than bad 😂 Kind of the same feeling as a shopping spree.... when you regret it as you’re looking at the credit card bill.... I stepped on the scale and it jumped up towards 180 again... which means I gained 12 pounds in one week.... it’s possible but unlikely. I’m typing this out, calmly, rationally, but inside I’m SCREAMING. I had a few consecutive good weeks, where I even saw 167 on the scale. Then I fell off the wagon. I’m okay, I’m gonna recover. I know these feelings are temporary. But when I’m 100% honest with myself, I know that the THoUght of purging wS there and very real last night, and so the fact I have not done that and rather I’ve ‘kept’ my binges signifies great strength and progress. Old me would have spent hours hugging the bowl, trying to rid my body of my mistakes. But I don’t want to live that way. I refuse to relapse, and I therefore am OK.
I am grateful for my sobriety and recovery today, and I hope everyone out there who has pain or struggles in their life with food finds peace and acceptance and loving and nurturing their bodies. Thank you for reading.
Diet Calendar Entry for 16 May 2018:
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817 kcal
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Fat: 10.44g | Prot: 85.55g | Carb: 107.17g.
Breakfast: Apples , Skim or Nonfat Milk (0.5% or Less Butterfat), Apples . Lunch: StarKist Foods Tuna Creations Ranch, Bananas . Dinner: Wal-Mart Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast. more...
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 Comments
Be proud of yourself cuz I'm proud of you. you fought though the thoughts which is no easy task. You fight every day and have victories every day. Sometimes small, sometimes large but victories every day. Every day you make any small choice to live the way you want to is a victory. Though separated by distance and time, I and many others got your back.
16 May 18 by member: JLente
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@J ~ I am most grateful for your support. I too have your back. This place is awesome, I never would have dreamed that I’d have an opportunity to connect with people across country, - nevertheless daily if needed. When I returned North to Upper Michigan (last stop before Canada 🇨🇦) I knew recovery was going to be a different animal because there’s no formal OEAnon or ABAnon around here for hours and hours. Not to mention therapy for food addiction is nonexistent (every overweight person that I know is normalized, there is very little fit culture here.) But how do I expect to swim Lake Michigan or fly fish the Cedar River or hike the Porcupine Mountains if I can’t get my eating under control? I knew those things would be my medicine. Anyway, thank you for lifting me up, J. You’re a good guy, even if you are a desert rat🌵 🐀 (Yoopers think the deserts quite mysterious)
17 May 18 by member: KayBuckaroo
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