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Alright, girls (*AND GUYS!). It's time to talk about our feelings. Lot's of feelings described here on FS. "Feel like crap. Feel like a failure. I just can't seem to lose this x number of lbs/kgs. I feel so frustrated. I feel like giving up."
I was talking with a counselor the other day, and she said something that got me thinking. She said, "An event happens. It triggers a reaction/feeling. But in between the event and the feeling is a belief. So it goes something like this... An event happens, we believe something about that event, and then we feel a certain way."
event: scale says I'm up 2 lbs/kgs.
beliefs: I'm gaining weight. I'm getting fat. Fat is unhealthy. I can't do this. I've failed again. This always happens to me. This moment defines me.
Feelings: Sad, depressed, unmotivated, hungry, victim.
OR...
event: scale says I'm up 2 lbs/kgs.
beliefs: There's a reason for this and I can figure it out. If I can figure out the cause, I can figure out how to fix it. No one on the planet loses weight in a straight line over time. There have to be ups and downs! our bodies are ridiculously complex. I learn from my experience EVERY day and I get better EVERY day, even if it doesn't show up on a scale. This moment is just a blip on the radar of life.
Feelings: Curious, positive, in control, Can-do, hopeful, encouraged, joyful, etc.
I much prefer the second set of feelings.
Diet Calendar Entry for 27 February 2016:
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2383 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Running - 6/mph - 57 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 3 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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1 to 20 of 39
 Comments
Excellent post....so true! I hope that lots of new FS memebers get to read it and take it on board.
27 Feb 16 by member: KellyM25
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Love it! Perfectly written!
27 Feb 16 by member: Mariska Malemes
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Yesterday in the car on the way to school, I mentioned to my 12 year old son that I've noticed that he never really gets sad anymore. This was his response. "I learned that when I'm sad, it's usually because I believe something that's not true." ... 12 ... Freakin' 12!!
27 Feb 16 by member: RkTkFx
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Now I have the song I believe I can fly in my head.
It's so easy to get the constant negative thoughts stuck in your head. They are all based on what you choose to believe.
27 Feb 16 by member: linkrunner
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Thanks, seriously. Fell off the diet wagon last night (weekend are always harder). Needed some early morning positivity.
27 Feb 16 by member: Brody152
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I love this post!! We are our own worse critics and tend sabotage our plans. You are so right that we choose to be positive or negative. Our weight loss journey is filled with choices, and not just food, but our attitude. Thanks for reminding all of us.
27 Feb 16 by member: rhontique
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I finally realized that I am an emotional eater. I eat for comfort when I am sad. For the most part, I am not a sad person. Fans has helped me see my weight loss and gain. As I look in my personal journal, I am amazed. This is incredible!!
27 Feb 16 by member: Tweet202
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Your son's comment is a reflection of having thoughtful parenting and a positive home environment. Your post is something I know applies to me.
27 Feb 16 by member: Scalewatcher3
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Nice post...very applicable in many, many situations!
27 Feb 16 by member: Steven Lloyd
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This is my first post but have been with FS for quite some time. I really needed to hear the message about how my belief plays such a large part in my personal weight loss journey. Thank you.
27 Feb 16 by member: jhs64
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Wonderful perspective. Thanks for sharing!
27 Feb 16 by member: jcoreetsy
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I have to confess I never have the first set of feelings. I always know that there is a reason why my scale might not move. It does happen sometimes that I "fall off the wagon" - it's always about fresh fruit, I always try to minimize the damage - i.e. choose low carb berries - and know that it will take me a few days to get back on track. But with all my medical issues, I also learned that if my body craves something - and I am not talking about glutton craving, like cookies, pies, cake, etc - that relates to some fresh fruit or vegetable then it means that there is something lacking in my diet that my body needs at that time, that cannot be acquired through another dietary option.
I guess my motto is "I can do it and I will do it, and if you challenge me and tell me that I can't, that is when I will do it the best". But then I'm a very stubborn old woman lol
27 Feb 16 by member: dayberndt
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Nice, you've touched on the foundation of cognitive therapy, an invaluable tool for just about any endeavor.
27 Feb 16 by member: 1point21gigawatts
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I love this post. It can be applied to everything in our lives, can't it?
27 Feb 16 by member: Mom2Boxers
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Well for most people the up and down usually happens. But if you go and see linkrunner's Weight History, you will see a steady down slope. Hummm, maybe he has a way to not be affected by feelings? Maybe he has a trick up his sleeve. I on the other hand, I go up and down like the Andes.
27 Feb 16 by member: Fast Track 1
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great post and awesome topic.. Ive noticed lately how as events unfold around me, they can have a negative impact on my feelings causing me to react with food , sometimes good, sometimes bad. Im like Tweet, an emotional eater so being in touch with my feelings can offset that. Great great topic again and thanks for posting !
27 Feb 16 by member: redgirl1974
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27 Feb 16 by member: John10251
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Great logic! We all need to hear this from time to time to keep us motivated and focused. By the way, your son sounds pretty amazing!
27 Feb 16 by member: Mousy1109
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I don't believe in positive thinking. I don't believe there's anything magical about it. Negative thinking? Yeah, I believe in that. It will stop you dead in your tracks. Awesome book with an awesome title recommendation. "Feel the fear, and do it anyway."
27 Feb 16 by member: northernmusician
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Dude. How can I say this without sounding like a creepy stalker .... I totally love you for posting this ! You're spot on and what is so funny is I spent an hour last night giving my best friend perspective which helped her out of her slump and yet cannot do the same for myself. So thanks for being there for me and for all of us. :)
27 Feb 16 by member: lotusblossom2112
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