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Yesterday we celebrated a combo of Father’s Day/Mother’s Day/My Birthday. Saturday I went to the grocery store and for the first time ever I bought myself a birthday cake—a chocolate chip cookie cake with gobs of icing balloons and a ruffled green icing border. Then I had “Happy Birthday Lara” written on in even MORE ICING. I bought it because I knew those coming liked cookie cake—but I also knew my mom was bringing a homemade oatmeal cake for me, so there was no reason to buy it except that I wanted it. You see, my grandmother used to make an oatmeal cake for me for my birthday, and it was delicious! It had a very moist cake covered with a butter and brown sugar icing that’s put under the broiler for a minute until it bubbles and browns. My grandma put coconut and chopped nuts in the icing, also, but over the years I grew to like it better without them. So after my grandmother died, my mom took up the tradition and started making one for me for my birthday, which is super sweet and kind of her! But now my mother is 76, and the cake has become very heavy, dry, and without flavor, but there is no way I would tell her that I really don’t like it now. So since I’ve always been reluctant to share my cake, the appearance of the chocolate chip cookie cakes wasn’t out of the ordinary. But after she left, I sent a large portion of the oatmeal cake home with one of my sons, and threw the rest of it away. So I’m doing good, right? I got rid of the “evil, calorie-laden oatmeal cake“, and saved myself from all the caloric agony waiting inside! But of course that’s not the end of it. There’s still the cookie cake. I cut it into squares, and personally took the icing-laden balloon pieces for myself. Others also took from the center. So what’s left? About eight pieces of the ruffled icing border! It could’ve gone home with one of my kids. I could have thrown it away like I did the oatmeal cake. I proudly checked to see if the family next-door was home so I could give it to them (they weren’t). “It’s evil—get rid of it,” my husband half-kidded. But I’ve done none of these. I ate some last night; I ate 2 pieces for breakfast; I ate 2 pieces for an early morning snack; and I’ll eat the last 2 pieces for lunch. I’m going to walk the dogs when I’m finished here, and go to the weight room this afternoon with my husband and work out. Yes—the cookie cake isn’t healthy; yes—I’m overeating it. Yes—I love the taste and the sugar rush. But, no—I won’t be doing this again. I’ve been striving to eat healthy and take care of my body since January 4th, so this once-in-six-months “tantrum” is done. The pleasure I get eating it is short lived and nothing compared to the personal satisfaction and pride I’m feeling from seeing my body change and become stronger. I’m not the same person I was before. I want more, and I’ve found here a way of life that I can do and that’s better for me. So onward without looking back, but noting that my sugar/carb addiction goes on...
Diet Calendar Entries for 17 June 2019:
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2606 kcal
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Fat: 105.53g | Prot: 67.27g | Carb: 351.20g.
Breakfast: International Delight French Vanilla Coffee Creamer, Dunkin' Donuts French Vanilla Coffee, Mrs. Fields Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake. Dinner: Minute Instant Whole Grain Brown Rice, Beef Stir Fry, Schwan's Beef Sirloin Steak Tips For Kabobs. Snacks/Other: General Mills Cheerios Oat Crunch Cinnamon, Great Value Vitamin D Milk, Kellogg's Frosted Flakes, Mrs. Fields Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake. more...
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