jcmama777's Journal, 31 March 2019

I go by week 

I track weekly. I don't know if there's a right and wrong way. 

Weekly , some days I eat a little and other days a lot.  

When I was started on progesterone it was 5 mg to stop my cycle at 38 years old because it’s terrible and I have adenomyosis and most likely endometriosis. It didn’t work and I have been on 10 mg for like 40 days. The 5 mg all of a sudden I stopped squats 😩 the 10 mg makes me sweaty and obviously still no energy. I am scheduled for my total hysterectomy 5/21/19. The recent steroids did me in. I just want to be the person who came in with a mission and worked hard for my results. Personal.... but we also took in my nieces over a month ago so we’re super stressed out for them and their mom and affecting our kids and our financials. I treat those babies like they are mine. Maybe I have a lot on my plate per say. I work 13 hours in urgent care and I’m in school for my registered nursing RJ.  

I heard it was over three years!!! 

Thank you guys so much for such a quick response. I have been going through a lot and I just need some help and suggestions and support. Rosie I snapped at you when everything started going down and I did ask you for advice and didn’t get it but I was also a new person. Thank you for responding. I feel like I’m falling apart you guys. Our income tax is completely spent on our new babies with cell phones and it’s like feeding adults 😩🤦🏻‍♀️❤️. I don’t want to fail my kids and our new ones but I don’t want to fail myself either.  

Jc I get too many messages sometimes I miss some 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Breath and make sure you use your money wisely  

Draglist I am a huge follower and you to Keilan. I always did by day and felt so proud of myself. Weekly scares me a bit because I’m still to big to rely on that?.?.. I know I dropped a lot of weight but life completely flipped on me.  

Thank you Rosio. I’m just trying to do the right thing on a full plate and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m just so hurt for my nieces and nephew and so sad and angry at my sister. Addiction is real whether food or drugs😔 I know I’m doing the right thing because the counselors from each of their schools were amazed in improvements of grades but also zero disciplinary action on each child.  

A hysterectomy is pretty rough to recover from, I remember having trouble with energy for 4-6 weeks after. Focus on your nutrition and start slowly with activities, your body needs time to recover. You will be full of energy in no time! 

Thank u dhatura. I’m scared as hell plus I’m really afraid about the energy loss as I have been going through it the moment I started progesterone 😩😔  

LZenn thank u 

Jcmama777, it's probably difficult to tell where the effect of the progesterone stops and the effect of the MASSIVE stress load begins. **Stressors** (Count 'em!) (1-2) working long hours in a demanding profession, (3) studying, (4) caring for your own children, (5-7) caring for (three?!) additional children under adverse circumstances, (8-9) worry over and resentment toward your sister, (10) increased financial pressure, (11-14) dealing with the responses of your husband and children to all this, (15-17) preparing (physically, mentally, and emotionally) for major surgery, (18) reduced physical activity = reduced outlets for releasing tension, and (19-20) hormonal changes (artificial and natural) ... If you were NOT completely exhausted by this extraordinary load, I'd think you were either manic or on amphetamines. It may be time to call a family meeting, led by you and your husband together, to lay out what's happening with you and, depending on the ages of the children, give them roles on the "FAMILY TEAM." 

Coming down off steroids is the worst! The "withdrawal" can last for weeks and it is murder on your liver. You feel like death warmed over and you have zero energy ... add that to the health hell you are in right now, JCMama, and it is no wonder you are draggin' and laggin'. Be easy on yourself. This is not the time to expect your recovery to be quick or textbook. Listen to your body. If it says REST, then rest. If it says EAT then eat nutritiously to help it mend. Drink lots of fluids, preferably water, since that helps flush the toxins out of your body. Been there, done that, have the $50 T-Shirt. 

Thank you draglist that makes sense. I have always went by calories a day because I couldn’t mess up and I was going so strong. I will definitely look into that. Thank you miraculum for all the insight!! Huge follower of you as well!! Thank you for making me feel normal. It’s soooo much pressure. It doesn’t even end there. My sister hates me and all I do is cry and worry about her. She used to be stronger than me in some things, but sadly was never a loving mother 😞. My mom doesn’t know how to treat me since it went down. They hid it from me. I picked up on it in the hospital last May talking to my sister and all of a sudden she didn’t have $ for my nephews birthday. She told me she bailed people out of jail but told my parents she was caught in a credit card scam. My mom first mentioned my sister bet on drugs but when it came together I was told to pray. Now I am trying to heal my nieces and nephew and trying not to screw all of us up.. My youngest is Autistic. He loves having his cousins here but also has been acting out.  

Thank you catzz2. Steroids unfortunately are my necessary evil. I almost died last year with flu complications to pneumonia and then hospital MRSA acquired pneumonia which resulted in vancomycin for 8-9 days IV push 3 times a day. Steroids have been my downfall for years with weight gain. The water retention is so bad it had me in flip flops because my shoes didn’t fit. I actually suffer adverse reactions such as more than significant weight gain, back pain and severe leg pain plus the normal sweats and bitchiness . 

Check out hystersisters.com, I found it to be a great resource for what to expect from recovery, the week by week videos were fantastic.  

Oh, Jcmama777! I know what you mean. My sister is similar: bipolar, self-medicating with alcohol and drugs, conflicting cover stories -- the tip of the dysfunctional iceberg. She's still angry with me for supporting her ex in their custody battle in 1992, but I'd do it all over again. Her children are all adults with their own families. They've done well in spite of their mother -- a credit to their father and to his extraordinary mother, who helped him finish raising the children. I have the luxury, now, of steering clear of my sister, except to be cordial at the occasional family funeral. My heart goes out to all families who struggle. I will pray for you and for your family!  

please reward your body with healthy choices, fluids and sleep. maybe schedule a 10 minute walk every night, just to wind down and as a stress release. what more can you do?