cjodyssey's Journal, 07 June 2018

The MRI last Friday was excruciating. I have an abdominal hernia that used to be small but this weight loss has revealed that it has grown. When they began to slide me into the machine my stomach touched the top of it and i couldn't get a deep breath so they had to slide me out. I became upset because I've been waiting more than two years for this test. When i asked if there was any way to lower the table, they said no but then had the idea to remove the pads on the table. So i then lay on the bare table and i fit in with room to spare. I was in there for several songs and a couple of d.j. announcements all the while the pain in my low back and hips growing worse and worse. I asked them how much longer thinking it should be almost done and was told 12 minutes which i wasn't sure i could bear because the pain was beginning to make me sick. They did something to make it only three minutes and twenty seconds longer, for which i am grateful.

I wasn't sure i was going to be able to get off the table. I can't describe the depth of the pain and the waves on top of waves of both pain and nausea that came over me when I sat up and the feeling came back to the middle of my back. They wheeled me to the waiting room and I took some medicine and it began to ease up for a bit but by the next day and for these last several days it's been pretty consistently bad with little relief.

I've been calling my doctor's office every day asking about the results. She got them Tuesday afternoon. Her nurse called me today. She told me that the MRI showed several abnormalities and instead of giving me the results, my doctor wants me to come in so she can talk to me about the results and discuss treatment - a word i find oddly disheartening. So i don't have definitive results yet but it doesn't sound ideal.

And early this morning my hospital bed decided it was no longer going to raise my head and i can't lie flat on it the way it is so not sure what tonight is gonna be like. I know I'm not going back to sleeping sitting up on the love seat though. I can't.

I hope y'alls' tomorrows look up.

ETA: Oh, My progress bar has changed from red to yellow. That's nice.

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2143 kcal

Fat: 170.33g | Prot: 102.07g | Carb: 30.74g.   Lunch: Sargento Deli Style Sliced Medium Cheddar Cheese, Johnsonville Beddar with Cheddar Smoked Sausage & Cheddar Cheese, Great Value Jumbo White Eggs, Great Value Butter (Salted). Dinner: Birds Eye Steamfresh Broccoli Florets, CookOut Huge burger, no bun, Great Value Deluxe American Cheese, Cooked Mature Onions (Fat Not Added in Cooking), Great Value Butter (Salted). Snacks/Other: Great Value Half & Half, Great Value Heavy Whipping Cream Ultra Pasteurized, Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter. more...