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Sunday morning, blue skies, another warm day here in North Idaho, first cup of coffee consumed, sitting here waiting for my SLOW satellite internet to do its thing.
Weight was same today as yesterday ... will wait to record the next decline ... in the spirit of "Kate"!! I am still trying to embrace the apparent reality that I must truly eat more than 1000 or 1200 calories a day if I want to lose weight. I need to go back and look at old diet calendars, review what I did when I first joined fatsecret (but it is such a pain the the rear to do that) for more input. But really, do I need to do that? Isn't being in this moment enough? Paying attention to what is working right now? Ah ... the impatience, my mistrust of myself and my body. I was so worried the scale would go UP this morning and that yesterday was a fluke. At the same time I am incredibly impatient to see 199 on the scale. Even 199.8 would thrill me. Of course I know me ... then I would be waiting impatiently for 195!!!
I don't know why Densible and I haven't been "buddies" but we are now ... which leads me to my next story. DUKAN. I was so darn curious about what that was I of course had to look up the website ... and enter my information ... and they told me my TRUE WEIGHT was 187.5!!! WHAT??? Perhaps their way of calculating is more accurate than what I want? Anyway ... it looks to me like a slightly changed up version of Atkins and South Beach but it sure is working well for Densible!!! Congrats!!! Very exciting to read your entries ... and see you discovering bones you forgot you had!!
Maximum Achievement. The very first chapter in the book asks you to write a detailed description of your "ideal life" full of details, with no thought to "is it possible?" "or could I make that happen?" just write about it. So I began ... it was more difficult than I thought. I kept thinking "is it possible?" ... "am I being selfish" ... "am I being unrealistic?" ... "am I delusional?" ... LOL!!!! I have a long way to go that I CAN see. DH is reading another book by Brian Tracy on Goals ... we're both in bed, reading our respective books and he asks me ... "do you see me having any negative beliefs?" OH MY. For a split second I though "dare I tell him the truth? does he really want me to answer that question?" My man is more of a glass half empty sort of guy than a glass half full. Negativity pretty much rules ... unless we are gambling, playing the lottery, then throw caution to the wind!!!
So I told him (after taking a deep breath) YES. Then he wanted examples. I gave him a few. Let it sit there for a bit ... continued reading and then asked his view of me. He identified two negative beliefs he sees in me "I'm not good enough" and that he thinks I have a bit of the "waiting for the other shoe to drop" in me. Grist for the mill.
It is time for me to step up to the plate and get serious about me, my life. Exciting and a bit frightening at the same time. It is good, we both have our own books to read ... and I think it is a perfect time for us to step forward. So much pain in the past few years ... pain often motivates us to do something different. Another interesting part of my journey.
So for today? I need to exercise. I need to work on a group contract for my reflective supervision groups. I need to work on a brochure for my practice. I need to do my homework for my book.
I also "need" a little computer desk for my computer. I moved my laptop upstairs to be able to hang out with DH but my roll top desk doesn't really work well for my laptop. DH suggested hitting yard sales this morning but I'm afraid if I leave here I won't get anything done because I'll get distracted and tired and just put it off.
So ... wrap it up Moose ... really!!! You can just blab and blab and blab!!!
1. I am grateful for the sleep aid that assisted me in waking up only once last night!!!
2. I am grateful for the possibilities of growth and change in my life.
3. I am grateful for the desire to experience more peace, contentment, and joy in my life.
4. I am grateful for buddies who share pieces of themselves here ...
5. I am grateful and excited to know that Cathy is on the verge of being a married woman!!! (and I think Irene bypassed her location).
Have a wonderful Sunday ...
Diet Calendar Entries for 28 August 2011:
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1739 kcal
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Fat: 56.52g | Prot: 108.80g | Carb: 193.45g.
Breakfast: Oikos Plain 0% nonfat yogurt, banana, Pineapple, Barleans Flax Oil, Vanilla Almond Milk. Lunch: tomato, celery, Mayonnaise Low Fat, Flatbread Multi-Grain with Flax, sweet & spicy tuna. Dinner: butter, sourdough bread, carrots, Sirloin Steak. Snacks/Other: Pop Chips Salt & Pepper, Select 55, Dreyers Fruit Bars, chicken breast meat. more...
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3061 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Desk Work - 8 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 7 hours and 25 minutes, Elliptical - 35 minutes. more...
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