Monday morning is here and my schedule has changed. My mom's leg is hurting and I'm hanging out until we can see if we can schedule a doctor's appointment today to check it out. She's in no condition to drive. So I slept in a little and will be cancelling my morning appointments, maybe my whole day and using a sick day to see to her. She's been having trouble with it for a while, on and off. She is supposed to leave for California in two weeks. I worry about her. She's in fairly good health but she is 71 and she looks frail when she is sick. The pain medication the doctor prescribed makes her sicker than a dog. I know she hates "burdening" me but she isn't a burden. I suppose I feel similarly when I have to depend on someone else, we are a stubborn bunch!
Like my new friend Splash65, my scale went up today, despite being on track. That's why sometimes I don't like the scale. Difficult to not let it bother me. I'm trying to focus on the other numbers, the reality that I've had a calorie deficit consistently for some time now. When this happens I am tempted to DROP my calories drastically but the reality is I get hungry. I know in the long run it is better to respect my true hunger and feed my body. Besides, I'm not very good at starving myself ... not an strength I possess!! LOL!!!
I had the pleasure of chatting with live video footage with my Bison Rancher friend yesterday!! Thank you Anne!! She's helping me pilot some software I would like to use to host some group meetings for a work project I'm launching. It was wonderful to hear her voice.
The weekend was quiet. We stayed home. Pleasant and I feel fairly rested. Only three days of work this week which is now shortened with the need to ferry my mom about. I sat outside for a bit to catch some of the rare sunshine we've had this summer and wouldn't you know it ... I got too much sun!!! Funny, I didn't think I was even outside for very long. I'm sure the red will fade quickly ... and hopefully turn to a nice brown shade. It felt great but I was annoyed by the flies buzzing about!
Not sure what the weather forecast for today is ... I need to check!! We looked out the window this morning to overcast skies and a beautiful early morning rainbow!! I snapped a couple pictures, I'll see if I can add one here to share with you. It's raining out now so who knows!!
I'm really working diligently to keep my mind in a healthy place. It isn't easy. I find myself thinking "failure, failure, failure" and I have to really work at being in this moment and accepting the "now" remembering that I am MORE than the number on the scale and the size of clothing I currently wear. As usual, I am in a hurry. As usual, I am hard on myself. Impatient I guess it is. But, I continue on and deep in my heart I KNOW I will arrive at a more comfortable weight. I guess this is just another opportunity for me to realize I'll never be "done." Joy and excitement abound! LOL!!
Still, I am grateful today ...
1. For having a job that is flexible enough that I CAN take the day off at a moment's notice to care for my mom.
2. That at least for now ... the hot flashes have subsided again meaning I am sleeping better.
3. For the beautiful rainbow I saw this morning.
4. For how healthy my hair feels.
5. For the warmth of the sun on my skin yesterday.
I'll continue to practice kindness towards myself, however imperfectly I am able to do it. I will remember that my beauty is more than how I see myself, how I compare myself to others who appear to have been so much more successful at taking off and keeping off their weight losses. I will continue to remember what I am grateful for, reminding myself that there is always something ... even when I am struggling I have much to be grateful for.
Have a good day ... a good week ... let's just keep going friends ... let's wrap our cyber arms around each other and remind each other just how precious life really is ...
[/img]
[/img]
