kristi13618's Journal, 24 January 2015

I obviously have fallen off the wagon many times with this whole dieting and losing weight thing. I'm done with "diets." I'm on to changing my lifestyle. When I was married (Divorced for almost a year), we only ate fast food. No wonder I gained weight, felt depressed, and was very unhealthy! I have converted to eating most of my meals at home. This has been very hard. For 4 years I always ate out. I guess the hard part is cutting in out completely. It's a much welcome change to eating at home, but there are just days where I get cravings. I will often give in and then I get angry and discouraged with myself. I have the will power to do better, I'm just very convincing when I want something. I have decided to cut down to eating out once a week. I'm sure many people would find that insane, but I know me and I need to phase things out and develop better habits. I have been meal planning for a few months now. Instead of cutting it out completely, I designate one day a week where I can eat out. I also have significantly cut back on soda and have started drinking mostly water. I hate water though, so I do add flavoring. I know that it's not as good as just water, but it's better than only drinking soda, which I was doing! I'd go through 3-4 12 packs in 2 weeks. I also have some difficulty with this, as far as completely giving it up, so I am also phasing it out. I will have 3 a week, which I have also placed on my meal planning calender. Now, the meals that I have "planned" aren't completely healthy either. They consist of a rotation of corn dogs, frozen pizza, hamburger and french fries, grilled cheese, and spaghetti and garlic bread. However, on the days I work (usually 3-4 days a week, 12 hours shifts) I will have a baked potato and salad. Sounds healthy, but I put cheese and ranch and croutons on the salad and LOTS of butter and cheese on the potato. I have also transitioned from eating solely at work on the days I work (we have a cafeteria, since I work in a hospital). I pack every day. This has helped saved TONS of money. I've noticed a significant increase in my take home pay. $1,475 I spent last year on eating only food from the hospital when I worked. This was breakfast, lunch, and a snack. I did start packing my lunch toward the end of last year, like I said. I usually bring cereal, a sandwich, cheez its, a piece of fruit, 3 bottles of water, and a pudding or yogurt cup. I know all of these things aren't great, but it's a huge improvement. I hope to continue to improve. I do love to cook, but have difficulty finding things that keep well for a period of time and then also getting burnt out on the food I made. I have been looking for great menu ideas that are affordable and healthy, but am having a rough time. I'm hoping to find some great ideas here. I also need accountability. Someone that will keep me motivated without making me feel like a loser when I fail. I know I'll have times where I fail. I'm human. I think the changes I've made are great, but not where I want/need to be. I also started walking once a week at a local park over the summer and into the fall. Now I'm taking yoga classes that are offered free through work and will be getting a dvd or two so that I can also do it at home. I do have a gym membership to the gym at work, but have little to no motivation to go. I have worked out in the past and know that I love it and it can be addicting, I just need to start slow and build up. My goal would ultimately be to do some type of fitness activity 5-7 days a week. Right now, my short term is once a week. I have lost a bit of weight between the almost 2 years since my ex husband left. Some of that was because I didn't eat and some of it was from so much stress just leaving. He was a huge source of stress and him leaving was the best thing to ever happen to me. I just want to keep up with the losing trend. I think my biggest fear is the fact that I'll have loose skin when I hit my eventual goal weight. I know that certain exercises can help with that, but I'm just not at the point where I can do sit ups lol! I know I'll get there. I just need the right tools and right support.