NewSarah!'s Journal, 18 October 2021

Hi Sarahduke. I will advise you and anyone that gets such comments from someone close to them to start looking at what a Covert Narcissist is. I may be wrong, and I really hope so. But is still good to know about such people. A good starting point is Quora that has a huge support community for people affected by such persons. Once you get a basic understanding - and if you will like to know more - I can recommend you few books. These are typical comments of a covert narcissist - also known as covert passive aggressive narcissists. Again, I will say I hope I am wrong. But at least you will learn one more thing about the reality around us. They look like wonderful people from outside. Once you get closer - like wife, husband, child etc - they are the ones that can do the most damage to someone. Their manipulations and gaslighting are so subtle that a lot of people think is just a normal here and there behaviour. Is not uncommon for people living with one to not realize it for 30-50 years. Usually takes a really dramatic thing to happen to open your eyes. And after that you just can't believe how you couldn't see it. One big hint is that their negative comments are sneaky, consistently putting down and never end (taking different forms for different ocassions); except if they feel that you may see behind their mask of "kindness" - then they can become nicer to draw you in or aggressive to make you submissive by fear. As this is an app about foods and weight loss I will stop here. As I said - is a big Quora community about and supporting victims of overt and covert narcissists. Just take a look. And I really pray to God that that was a one off comment and you are not dealing with one. 

Better to keep such a husband as far as possible from your environment. On this stage You need to spend the most of your communication time with those who can support You & remind You the strongest parts of yourself so you can keep going. 

You say that you are happily married with kids, so I think you need to have a chat with him and express that his comments are hurtful. Marriage takes work and part of that is communication. Walking around hurt without telling him will only build resentment and lead to a very unhealthy relationship. In the meantime, you are not fat and I think you know that, so don’t let anyone else or a scale determine your worth. How you feel about your actions are all that matter at the end of the day. Keep up the great work!! 

Yeah 

leave him bestie 

In retrospect of my earlier marriage that produced children, I wish that we had sought counselling to try to communicate better and work as a team. I don't know the extent of issues you face, but you are feeling hurt and resentful and he may have his own similar feelings. You owe it to each other to get help to bridge the divide, or at least try. I am only speaking from my own personal regrets. I left too easily. 

GREAT JOB!! 

Dump him 

Down 50 plus lbs. maybe someone is afraid of you looking to good! I say that because that is what happened to my sister and brother-in-law. They both struggled with her new look for a while. 

You are doing great, and you have accomplished so much! It’s all an indication of your strength (even if you sometimes may not feel that way). As for your partner’s comments — from personal experience, I would seriously look into what ct7055 is mentioning. If you are able to, try talking to a clinical psychologist about it, they will be able to help you (definitely helped me). You should be able to find one relatively easily on psychologytoday.com — just check their qualifications, I strongly suggest someone who is specialized in narcissistic behaviour, and is a certified psychologist, ideally with 10+ years in the field. Or ask your GP or friends for a reference. Keep being on your path, it will all be worth it, we’re all rooting for you! 

continue your progress your doing amazing. seems like your husband has unresolved issues with himself. but don't focus on the negative always focus on the positive your such a role model for people like us that want to lose weight . 

I am sorry, your husband shouldn’t have said that. That is so disrespectful and mean. You deserve an apology. I used to have a husband like that to…used to. 

You are doing amazing! I am sure that you feel better about yourself and have more confidence about everything…perhaps your husband is jealous of your new inner strength taking you on this journey. Knocking you down makes him feel better for himself…kind of sick but that is for you to decide. Keep your goals in focus and negativity out of your mind. You have got this. 

thank you  

Don’t let him get you down, your doing great :) 

kick him to the curb! name calling is verbal abuse! 

My friends husband used to do the same thing. He saw her losing weight then got scared she would leave him for someone else. He belittled her to make her give up. It didn’t work. She lost 80 pounds then 190 husband weight.