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I feel better. I sat down and wrote out as much as I can think of with this nightmare tenant deal from the start. With as many dates as I could get my hands on from store receipts, text message logs, emails, phone call logs on our cell phones, notice dates and rent payment receipts. I wrote the whole story in as great of detail as I could recall (which was actually much more extensive then I thought would be once I got started). I did it to have the situation down on paper to give to our attorney if needed if this does have to go through to court. Once I was done I took some time then sat back an reread what I had written and proofed. Then I read it as if I was someone else (something I was taught to do when final proofing papers) and when I was done I said- "Holy Crud, we were very clearly victims of a tenant con artist!" I can clearly see the progression as the situation folded out in a way that is normal for how a con artist operates. If I was someone else reading our story it would be clear to me that the people I was reading about had been conned. Despite the fact that we are still facing a very bad situation financially and stress of possibly going to court from this I feel so much better.
I tend to give benefit of the doubt beyond what is reasonable. I know this about myself but I can't seem to help it. I don't ever want to believe others are doing something wrong. I know that's unrealistic, but I can't seem to make myself be more realistic about the fact that there simply are bad people out there. I know it intellectually... but just never can believe it about the people I know. When I read about bad people I can believe it- I can see it when it's there in black in white. Or when a friend/family is talking to me about someone doing something I can believe it then. I just can't see it when I'm personally involved. When I read what I wrote while trying to see it as if I was someone else proofing another's writing... it let me look at the situation objectively from an outside point of view for the first time. I was nolonger me wanting to give someone I knew the benefit of the doubt, I was simply reading what had happened to another and seeing clearly the progression of taking advantage, lying and finally trying to intimidate. Emotionally I'm still me and part of me still wants to say things like, "Maybe the fridge really didn't work at his house and somehow something knocked loose during the drive to our house that fixed it." "Maybe they really were victims of a bad Landlord last time and it colored their view of this situation." "Maybe..." Intellectually I am fully convinced after reading through all the situation while looking at all the receipts, notices and dates that we were conned. I've even looked up 'tenant con artist' and found out that we aren't even remotely alone in experiencing this.
Unfortunately I also discovered that the system (basically everywhere, doesn't matter what country or state) isn't much help to landlords that find themselves victims of a con artist tenant. Often things turn out better for the con man then the landlord. Even so, I nolonger feel like this was our fault in any way except that we were too nice and naive. I am nolonger asking myself what I did wrong, what is their side of this, what should I have done different. I know that answer now is "not have helped them out". The situation still sucks and is still stressful. The financial strain is still very rough. We will get through this though. I believe without a doubt now that this was not my, our, fault. That makes me feel much better then I've felt for weeks.
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