Keeta's Journal, 08 February 2011

I wish I didn't understand where you were coming from, but I hear you so crystal clear that it's astounding. You can change your mindset, which is what will ultimately help you through this, but it's not easy. It never will be easy. I lost over 100 pounds a few years ago. I let myself slide back into the mindset that I was in previously, and I've gained back almost 80 of those pounds. I'm finally clawing my way back to that good place mentally. I do wish you all the luck. You can totally do this, and so can I! BTW.. I like your rewards! Looks like you really know how to treat yourself to the good stuff! 

Oh my goodness...Keeta, you perfectly describe my feelings too! 'Chemical Make-up' is exactly it! How do we bust through this wall that we have been busy building since we were in our teens? I do not have the answer...but I have CHOSEN to look for it! I will totally look for it with you! I just saw a therapist last week because of how 'yucky' I've been feeling! She diagnosed me with 'clinical depressiong' the kind you apparently need meds for. I filled the prescription and then read the sideaffects...in big BOLD letters it read, "this medication may cause unexpected weight changes", "loss of sexual interest", "anxiety", "loss of sleep"...and on and on! WHAT, I CANNOT afford to lose sleep, I CANNOT afford to unexpectedly GAIN weight, I know anxiety is what got me here in the first place! I decided to find the strength I need to bust down these walls through FATSECRET! I love coming to this site and talking with people just like me, who understand the struggles of emotional eating! This site makes me accountable for my diet and exercise because I chose to let everyone see what I weigh. I have rallied some of my 'bigger' friends to the challenge we face and have secured a support team in them! I will be part of your support team! The more support we have to hold us up when we lean the better will we stand! Keep on working hard to distract yourself when you feel stressed and want to find comfort in the bottom of the ice-cream bucket (my personal fav)! Lately when I find myself getting stressed I start cleaning out a closet...I hate cleaning, by the way! I get into a 'throw away' mood, and clear out some of the junk we have stashed away...it is almost like that helps me clear away the 'junk' on my body too! Letting myself take a bath with candles and a magazine has also been one of my recent distractions when I want to eat aimlessly! Blessings to you, I know you can do it!  

...clarification, in my last post...I decided to to use Fatsecret INSTEAD of the prescription...I absolutely do NOT think that I'm depressed enough to take on those side effects! Best Wishes to you Keeta and to you too, XPrettyXFaceX! 

Thanks guys for the responses! I read these and it really helped me to reevaluate everything and gave an extra burst of motivation. Good luck to all of you on your journey as well!