I am such an hourglass.
As I posted earlier I did my measurements again tonight and as usual, my hips are 10" wider than my waist. I always knew I was "curvy" for lack of a better term (I also used the term "child-bearing hips"). I didn't realize before that I really have a true hourglass shape (even with all the excess fat.)
I'm getting a headache from this paper and taking a quick break and I figured what the hell, I'd google and I found this
http://www.listal.com/list/the-hourglass-figureSeriously, this is the figure pin-up girls have. Damn, am I going to be some kind of awesome sexpot at goal? Cause that's kind of cool if you add in the tall, blonde thing. I never really appreciated my body or build before and part of this process is learning to love and accept it.
The other part of this is having the confidence to carry this off. You can't be shrinking into yourself if you're a tall blonde bombshell. I've been more conscious of how I carry myself these days and the eye contact I make with strangers. I know that sounds a little weird, but I find that, especially at higher weights I try to hide as much as I can. I slouch, I wear flats, I hide behind my hair, in clothes that I think hide a lot, behind giant earrings. I try to be invisible.
But I shouldn't even want to BE invisible. I'm amazing. I've gone through more than three lifetimes worth of crap and come through the other side to do things that amaze even myself. I'm strong and powerful and I SHOULD be confident and comfortable in my own body.
No more hiding, there's nothing to hide from. I'm reminded of one of my favorite quotes (which is long but awesome):
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Nelson Mandela
A long long time ago at one of my worst states a therapist told me I was the classic case of hiding my light under a bushel basket. I was different then, painfully shy, very hidden, afraid of everything.
So much of the journey that started before I even started to drop a pound was letting the light shine. I guess this is why it just seemed this was the natural next step in my ongoing journey.
Affirmations for today:
1) Every day my light shines a little brighter
2) I am learning to be comfortable with attention, I do not need to hide in a crowd.
3) I have every reason to be confident and sure of myself.