Reina Estrella's Journal, 16 October 2007

hay just pick your self up dust your self off and start over again and remember just like cocaine food is also an addiction we all have to fight love shelly. 

I'll be praying for you. May God bless you and help you find your way again.  

Kiki! I know this is not what you want to hear right now, but you should be ashamed of yourself! I am not going to pacify you if that's what you are looking for. Stop sabotaging your life! Look at that baby in your picture post.... Look at the other children that count on you day in and day out. Send me your number in my inbox! TODAY Kiki! The long distance charges falls on me so you don't have any excuse not to do this!  

hey girl.. it seems like everybody is going through alot now a days..but girl your a strong beautiful woman and there is no reason why you should have done that but me telling you that is pointless cause that day has come and gone all you can do is look forward..i dont look down on you because we've all made mistakes just as long as your not still doing this yourself.. i mean its obvious that using drugs makes you unhappy.. God bless you girl.. you will get through this..i have a shit load of things going on with me..but know that i'm here for you and i'm not here to judge what you do just to help you get through this.. send me a message if you want someone to talk.. i have myspace,facebook,yahoo messenger,aim so you can always get in touch with me.. lata hun 

awh, Kiki ... what's done is done girl, ain't no turning back the clock BUT we're human and the thing you need to do is take a long look at yourself in the mirror and decide what you really want and who you want to be. You've got a family to raise and You gotta set that example girl. Those kids will follow in your footsteps ... look at those little faces, do you want them doing that when they get older??? I don't think so. I don't know what caused you to fall into that again but darlin' ... you can't do that! You could lose everything that you've earned ... your job too. I am going to pray for you today girl. Don't throw it all away .. if it's the bar you work at .. then quit! I'd rather see you working at Mickey D's than to work at a filthy bar where these things are so easy to get a hold of. I used to go clubbin' all the time girl and I KNOW what's out there. I know the kind of people there and it isn't what you need. You need to remove yourself from any and every enviroment that could cause a relapse. What's done is done so decide right now what you want ... what about paying off all your debts??? Can you do that and buy Coke too??? I don't think so. Sweetie, you need to focus on them babies, your job, your future marriage, etc... DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!!!! Go find you a meeting or something but don't go there anymore.... again, money or no money .. you got the job at Macy's so quit the bar! I don't want to hurt you girl, you have potential and I just want to see it used!!! This is just tough love honey... Pick yourself up and Clean up your act! You GOT to do this! I care about ya and don't want to see you throw everything away ... or end up dead somewhere ... and then who do you think gonna care for the kids, you'll be gone and they won't have anyone... just think about it! 

Thanks and yes 107 days clean gone...I'm so upset...but...it'll be all good soon...I can do it again...I know I can 

I wish I was as honest with myself and the world at the age of 20! You have your own reasons for getting straight and making positive changes in your life- nobody can ever take that from you! Please don't make the mistake of giving up on yourself- as long as you wake up to a new day you have the chance to make your life better. 

thanks that was very encouraging