SturgeonQueen's Journal, 25 May 2010

I'm in a pissy mood, myself. Shit, actually starting to feel bipolar these days. But....CONGRATULATIONS on getting below 150!! It's a huge milestone. I don't know why you're not jumping for joy. Is it possible it's been a goal for so long that reaching it was anti-climatic? Or that you may have equated a number with life being perfect and when you reached that number, life hasn't changed? (I mean subconsciously) Or maybe you're just tired and need a break from all the stress of looking for a house and all the other stuff life throws at you. Today I'm sick of working out and sick of dieting and just had a mini meltdown. I didn't work out and am not going to tonight. Yuck. I don't like days like today.  

I don't like them either. I definitely am just sitting on my butt all day. I mean I had to work this morning, which is sitting on my butt, then I sit around at home because I'm just blah. Part of it is that that house isn't going to work out. It's probably for the better seeing as how much work it needed, but they lied about the square footage, by 1000 sq ft. That's a huge deal... totally makes it not worth it. ----------------------------------------- Sheesh, I wanted to work out today and stuff, but right now I'm semi-tired and just bleh bleh bleh. We'll both get back on track, I know it, lol! And I know that I should be excited to be below 150, I think part of it is I may not trust my scale fully anymore, lol... But I am happy about that, I'm going to try and stay around 1500 calories, I don't know if I should reduce it on days like today when I don't work out, but eh, whatever. My attitude is becoming "If I gain it, I know how to lose it again" at least I hope. Talk to you soon! :) *hugs* 

By the way, can I just say what a lump I feel like when like 9-10 hours of my day was mostly sitting? Ugh. Seriously though... I know it'll help motivate me tomorrow, thinking about how lazy I was today. I just got like 5 hours of sleep, got up early to work, had a big disappointment and sat on my BUTT. Ugh. 

I'm just too...what's your word? bleh? yeah, that's it! too bleh to write back. tomorrow HAS to be better. --------- I'm so sorry about the house! frickin' roller coaster ride, isn't it? at least you have a reason. I'm sure my husband thinks in an unstable lunatic right now. to a better tomorrow! please?