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weight watchers allows me to have 22 points a day. sometimes it feels like those points dont get me far and i feel famished all day long. on other days, like today ive still got 5 points and im super satisfied. i finally feel that i can do this! before, when i was hungry all the time i almost convinced myself that being fat but full was better than being hungry and grumpy... lol. i do a lot of convincing myself of things when im dealing with food.
this past weekend was completely DISASTEROUS and im ashamed to even THINK about the things i consumed... but ive been successful today and i dont know what it is, but i feel really hopeful and optimistic.
:) i passed by all the 50% off easter sale chocolate today. it was kinda tough. its all so cheap, but you know what? if someone paid me to gain weight i wouldnt do it... so i certainly wont spend money to gain weight either.
im going to weigh in this thursday and im super nervous because, like i said, the weekend was a nightmare. im glad i didnt have any greasy foods, but i deffinitely had tons of extra calories. when i was eating this weekend, i knew exactly what i was doing. i knew that i could call my friend, who is also on weight watchers and in OA. i KNEW that i could make a choice and that it was only up to myself. no one was making me eat those calories.... but thats what makes it all so disappointing and shameful... if you fail, you and only you can be blamed for it. no one was shoving food into my mouth. but i still ate it all. if someone else was in teh room with me, i would have been too embarassed to eat 90% of what i DID eat.
im on track now, and i guess thats the most important thing.
hope your easter weekends werent as disasterous and chocolate filled as mine was!
<3
- Amandapanda
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 Comments
You should not feel ashamed. Eating is not wrong! You made a choice to eat more than you diet allowed. But the diet is a tool to help you make better choices and lose weight over time - its not an moral code. I know from personal experience that beating myself up over something doesn't keep it from happening again - it just makes me feel bad and I'm not trying to make you feel bad, for making yourself feel bad - I can just hear those thoughts echoing in my brain. I've found that a healthier take on a clearly undiety spell is to ask myself why I overate and then try and think of ways that I could help myself choose better next time. A lot of time its the feeling that because I'm on a diet - I'm not allowed to eat such and such - makes a surprising ammount of the "illict substance - say potato chips" enter my digestive tract as almost an act of rebellion against feeling deprived. I think your stance of "I wouldn't gain weight for money, so I'm not going to pay to enable weight gain" is great.
Sometimes, its really worth it to stop worrying and enjoy a special meal. Its smart to try and limit overeating on holidays by controlling portion sizes - but in the long run its about your every day eating habits that will make or break you desire to maintain a healthy weight.
Good luck this week! If you walked by the sale chocolate, then you've one victory up on me - bad weekend or not - it sounds like you are moving in the right direction
24 Mar 08 by member: Amarok
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Your body will naturally go through those fluctuations- just go with it! If you're only hungry for 18 points one day, then don't force yourself to eat more. Chances are, you may be hungry for those extra 4 points the next day. It's good to switch things up so your body doesn't get used to the exact same thing (and then you'll end up on a plateau). Keep it going, girl!
24 Mar 08 by member: All That Baby Weight!
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I agree that it's good to keep switching those points around to prevent stalls and plateau's. I used to eat exactly the same amount every day, but soon learned that mistake as my body got too used to it. I now try to calculate my points for the week, then the days I exercise I usually eat a bit more. Great work on walking past the reduced chocolate... alas, we bought some earlier... lol just for the nice mug. Will let hubby eat the chocolate though... as I've already had too many goodies this weekend, so you haven't been the only one. Just get back to it and you will be fine. ;o)
24 Mar 08 by member: MoonLite
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forget about the past, and stay with this good mood you're feeling!! You did really good by avoiding those on-sale candies..a small victory--but a definite one!! A step in the right direction. Each step counts. It'll take many, many such small steps before we get it down to good habits on an automatic mode, and along the way there'll be several falls, but don't feel bad about those falls when they happen. Just count each victory and keep going! Cheers!!
24 Mar 08 by member: 08willbegreat
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wow. ive never done one of these things where people can comment on my journal. its SO cool and so incredibly uplifting! thank you so much for taking the time to offer some advice. i REALLY appreciate your kindess.
05 Apr 08 by member: amandapanda
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