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Bad dream, I’m up after sleeping for 4 hours. I had such an awful headache earlier, I made sure to drink tons of water just to make sure it wasn’t from dehydration. Got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth. Little man was still awake so I took the opportunity to snuggle with him for the last couple hours. Heaven. It’s so wonderful, the things my life is full of now that I’m not so devastatingly addicted to eating & starvation cycling. Old me would have gotten up, noticed I was slightly hungry, and piled in an entire 1,000 calories for sure no problem. New me recognized my thirst, tackled that first off, and then had 1 serving of whole grain sun chips, for 140 calories. Old OLD me would have had a 700 calorie bowl of cereal, and eaten so much I’d be trying to sleep in acute abdominal pain.
How many times did I eat instead of taking care of my other many needs. Too many. I have needs for snuggles, for sleep, for water, for hygiene. I have needs for shopping, bill paying, home organization, home repair. Eating is so important, so wonderful, so enjoyable, so pivotal. But eating is not The Only Need. Just as a heroin addict or alcoholic isolates themselves, I too wanted to be alone with my addiction. I stopped participating in life. It’s no wonder people with food addiction are so prone to depression.
I should probably get some more sleep before my next shift creeps up in the morning.
M
Diet Calendar Entry for 22 October 2018:
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1562 kcal
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Fat: 35.16g | Prot: 59.16g | Carb: 241.32g.
Breakfast: Milk (Nonfat) . Lunch: Apples . Dinner: Weight Watchers Chicken Taco Chili, Green Olives, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Tyson Foods Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts. Snacks/Other: Sun Chips Original, Grapes (Red or Green, European Type Varieties Such As Thompson Seedless) , Beer, Snickers Minis Mix, Snickers Minis Mix, Twix Twix Minis (3). more...
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