|
Feeling a bit bitter. I was so good all day. I went to a friend's birthday last night and I felt like I was good. I counted every chip I ate and made sure I only had a couple tablespoons of bean dip. I only had one pork taco (not two or three like the other skinny people there). I had a small margarita while they were having coronas and margaritas. I had a half of piece of red velvet cake instead of a whole. I made sure before I went my calorie total for the day was basically nothing. I exercised before I went. I was 25 calories over the amount that has me lose 1 pound per week. I should have at least maintained. I do remember that yesterday when I had a drop of over a pound in 1 day I figured today would go up, but I still hated seeing it.
What I really hated seeing though were girls half my size eating just as much to twice as much as I do. I realize comparisons get me no where. Life is not fair. I have a slower metabolism. I can't eat as much as others. I eat way less than my husband who is 8 inches taller and 50 pounds less than me. He finishes his meals of equal portions and half the time I don't finish my meal and he finishes mine and the kids. And he tells me he not only eats the healthy lunches I pack but bagels in the work room. He walks on his lunch break three days per week, but I walk on mine everyday. If I compared myself to him or to these friends I would weight 250 or more even though I eat less and they are only 130, 140, 150. I can't compare. I have the body I do and it requires more sacrifice than their bodies do.
On a good note, I was proud of myself last night. Pork Carnita Tacos and margaritas are my second favorite meal (enchiladas in mole sauce with a fried egg on top is my absolute favorite meal, with a Mexican hot chocolate for dessert). Yet, I showed restraint. I planned on saying no to the dessert and that is where I let myself down. I looked at it and Red Velvet is the only kind of flour cake I like (I love chocolate flourless torte). I originally said no but my friends were teasing me saying they could see me looking and knew I wanted it and they even commented on how little I'd eaten.
But you know what it isn't their fault. Sure they tempted me, but I'm always going to be tempted and I need to learn to say no. Even when friends tell me it is a special circumstance. It is momentary pleasure exchanged later for guilt. It isn't worth it and I need to remember this before I give in, rather than afterwards. Please God, help me remember this before hand next time. Help me make the better choice.
|
217.4 lb
Lost so far: 15.6 lb.
Still to go: 77.4 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
|
Diet Calendar Entry for 03 April 2019:
|
1542 kcal
|
Fat: 114.05g | Prot: 67.74g | Carb: 71.58g.
Breakfast: Strawberries, Johnsonville Sausage Patty, Scrambled Egg (Whole, Cooked). Lunch: Strawberries, Kirkland Signature Smoked Salmon, Spinach, Avocado Vegetable Oil. Dinner: Brussels Sprouts, Butter (Salted), Cauliflower Rice, Rosemary, Mahi Mahi. Snacks/Other: Spanish-Style Hot Chocolate Drink (Made with Milk), Blue Diamond Almond Nut-Thins - Hint of Sea Salt Nut & Rice Cracker Snacks. more...
|
gaining 2.8 lb a week
|
 Comments
You did an EXCELLENT job! At the baby shower I went to on Sunday, someone said, "Would you like a piece of cake," and I said, "I'd LOVE one, but I'm choosing not to have it."
03 Apr 19 by member: Debbie Cousins
|
I don't think that adjusting for a meal or an eating opportunity is a failure or negative in any way. Your commentary on your evening seemed slanted like you didn't make good decisions or you were somehow or somewhat "bad" in choosing what you did to eat. But really, you should be celebrating your wise and wonderful decisions and how you handled temptations by making REASONABLE choices and you also took counter-measures [exercise and pre-eating calorie counting] to offset any reaction your body would have to the different food you consumed in that situation other than your 'normal' choices. You kept yourself in check so that you did not binge or over-eat. You elected to have HALF a piece of RV cake rather than a whole piece, or two pieces. Each decision was a GOOD one because you were in CONTROL and allowed yourself to enjoy the situation but you did not let food take over and be in control of YOU. That is definitely a NSV ! This is the eating process of a person who is in control, who makes wise decisions and then carries on normally after the situation or opportunity has passed. Life is a series of choices, some good, some bad, some just in the middle. It is the big picture that tells the real tale. The big picture here is that you won this one. Give yourself the kudos for the great choices and being in control of the food presented to you and not the other way around. This is a WIN for you, 1982nodak1
03 Apr 19 by member: catzz2
|
Debbie, that is what I wish I would have said. I feel like a hypocrite because I have my kids sugar free and if they had been there I wouldn't have allowed them to have cake, and granted that is for their ezemea and trying to follow the anti-inflammatory diet to a t for them. But still I'm trying to cut out sugar too and we only use stevia at home. So the cake was something I knew I should say no too.
And Catzz2 what made this feel like a lose is I planned to have the chips and the taco, but I had planned on saying no to the cake. I let someone who knew I was on a diet and who is praying for my food addition to tell me I've been being good and I could have a piece. I let temptation win. Now there have been times I've planned in a piece of my favorite flourless tort or creme brûlée. These are my two favorite indulgences. Those days I plan for that. On this day I had planned to say no and while you say I had control most of the night I did. But I let the cake have control. I gave in. It wasn't something other than momentary pleasure and because I had planned to say no and then said yes, there was guilt. If I had planned in the cake and taco and margarita and then said there would be no chips and bean dip that would have been control. But I went over my calorie allowance by eating something I hadn't planned. I knew as I said it food was controling me. And in the bigger picture that is the problem. That is my food addiction. Planning calories in for a less healthy treat once in a while is fine, but giving in to multiple indulgences at once, I'm sorry that is when the food controls me. I am an addict and Tuesday night the food controlled me. So now I'm on day two of the food not controlling me. Yesterday I budgeted in a hot chocolate after the kids went to bed and I still lost. I didn't give in to indulgences not planned and budgeted in my calorie allowance and I stuck to my anti-inflammatory plan by kicking in chili pepper and spices that aid in digestive health. So I even made my hot chocolate a better indulgence. Yesterday I was proud. I hope to be today as well.
04 Apr 19 by member: 1982nodak
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment
|
|
|
Other Related Links
Members
|
1982nodak's weight history
|