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I have been overeating for the last four days and the thing is- I don't really mind having done it. I guess I need to figure out what I want to do. I think I look good- sometimes REALLY good 🤩- sometimes good enough😐. I feel very healthy. I'm in a size 8/10 and if I had skin removal, I would assume I would be in a six. My muscles look fab at the gym💪🏻🏋🏻♂️ (due to the extra calories) and so I don't know if I will ever be 165 or less. I definitely am at the highest weight I will allow myself to go and I will rein it back in today but looking back at the last year- it is just a wavy line of maintaining the same numbers. My body has recomped- so it isn't without progress. I guess I'll just keep lifting, eating what I want, and not getting higher than today's weight and see what happens. Maybe not giving a shit will help me do better because the more I want to and the closer I am, the more I just sabotage. I will trick my other personality (the rebel side) by taking out any kind of goal. If I don't know the goal, then I can't mess it up when I get closer to it. That is the most planned out- not having a plan- ever. ;)
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185.0 lb
Lost so far: 64.0 lb.
Still to go: 0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entry for 28 March 2021:
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2616 kcal
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Fat: 114.30g | Prot: 118.59g | Carb: 275.39g.
Breakfast: Butter, Sunbeam King Thin Enriched Bread, Equate High Performance Protein Shake - Chocolate, Frigo Light String Cheese, Great Value Saltine Crackers, Coffee. Lunch: Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey Ice Cream, Banzai California Roll, Kraft Velveeta Cheesy Bowls Ultimate Cheeseburger Mac. Dinner: Lemon Meringue Pie, Hershey's Zero Candy Bar, Kirkland Signature Farmed Atlantic Salmon. more...
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gaining 25.2 lb a week
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 Comments
Sorry if my first comment sounded flippant, DP. I was wishing I could hang out with my younger, rebellious self. And vicariously be younger.
29 Mar 21 by member: TomLong
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You look awesome and as long as you're happy who cares about the number? Hopefully work gets better soon!
29 Mar 21 by member: -Diablo
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Tom- I didn't think you were flippant at all. KayBuckaroo- being pg is a good reason for anything. :) Diablo- as long as you are happy with how I look, too. 💕
29 Mar 21 by member: davidsprincess
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Demands of my day job fluctuate pretty dramatically. When I am full on my grind for 12+ hours for days on end, I find it difficult in the extreme to maintain any meaningful caloric deficit. Have caught myself even "resenting" the diet, if that makes sense. Not productive on any front. I now prioritize self care. Literally make supporting myself in my work the top priority. That means giving myself permission to eat without recrimination. Work surge passes, check the mirror for damage, recommit to diet. Or not.
30 Mar 21 by member: jimmiepop
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