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Not a day I smiled broadly at my scale. It said 200.4 this morning. I didn't exercise this weekend ... between an intense conversation with hubby on Saturday AM, the funeral in the PM and then the migraine on Sunday it didn't happen. I also didn't count every single calorie but honestly I did not go hog wild ... ugh.
So another opportunity to practice kindness to myself ... and as Sharon said give myself a hug. It is just a number. It does not define me. Weight fluctuates for so many reasons and I KNOW that I have always had wide fluctuations on the scale. A 4-5 lb fluctuation on my scale is not atypical at all.
Moving on ... I just can't think about the scale too much. It is what it is. All I can do is eat healthy today. I already exercised. I'll drink my water. I'll track my calories. What else can I say?
I'm out in the field today. A couple of visits in our northern county, maybe I'll get a bit of a book read I've been wanting to read titled "Nurturing Adoptions." I think I'll just work 3 days this week. Friday is a holiday and I think I'll take a vacation day on Thursday. Will probably to the same next week too.
So ... even though I am not "feeling" it ... here goes
Today I am grateful for ...
1. the possibility of being able to recondition a couple of our deep cycle batteries that are not in good shape (new ones cost over $300 each!!!)
2. that I only have hot flashes that wake me in the middle of the night and not a crying infant!!!
3. this week is Christmas ... and it will be fun to share a good meal with my little family and have a few days off of work
4. my mom enjoying her time with her sister in California
5. as always ... my buddies here who support me ... I'm definitely needing it these days!!
So ... I'll stand tall and proud, hold my head up, smile, and greet this day with love in my heart, especially towards myself. I teeter on that "beating myself up" cliff every day. I will NOT do it. I will not be mean to myself. I'm on a journey that goes on and on and on and there are many twists and turns, detours, hills to climb, valleys to traverse, rivers to cross.
Have a good day my friends ... may we all let our light shine and be kind to ourselves. If not us then who?
Diet Calendar Entries for 20 December 2010:
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1123 kcal
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Fat: 30.24g | Prot: 75.62g | Carb: 159.65g.
Breakfast: large egg, La Tortilla Factory Low Carb Tortilla, Weight Watchers Mexican Cheese, water. Lunch: light laughing cow cheese, white turkey meat, Flat Out Light Italian, banana. Dinner: Smart Ones Spaghetti. Snacks/Other: Nature Valley Granola Thins, Kashi Go Lean Crunchy Cinnamon Coffee Cake. more...
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3294 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Desk Work - 9 hours, Driving - 2 hours, Precor Elliptical - 46 minutes, Resting - 4 hours and 14 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
Hi Moose! I'm finally back on FS and it is so nice to see your journals again! Keep being kind to yourself my friend... everyone gains weight this time of year. :)
20 Dec 10 by member: Chris1979
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Realizing your coat of many colors...Truly inspirational Moose! TOWANDA!!!!
20 Dec 10 by member: Lisa Online
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Hang in there lady - sometimes that all we can do. I'm always here for you.
20 Dec 10 by member: MomofTwoGirls
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Amen sista! I love that last bit, and it was in my mind when you ask on top "what else can I say"... glad you see it. Glad you are here.
20 Dec 10 by member: cindyshine
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I think we are all struggling right now so lets all stick together and not give up. We can do it Carol!! We have to believe that!
20 Dec 10 by member: chattycathy1955
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SO today we need a double hug. Love yourself more on the these days. Here's something deep...I can feel it coming...we are soooooooooooooooo easy to love on skinny jean good hair days, we just smile at ourselves in the mirror, we operate on that extra gear when the scale hits a new low. But go the other direction and the snide comments come out. We are so mean to our less than ideal selves and it's all the same self. My dear best friend is my best friend if she gains 15 pounds or loses it. I really love her and could care less if she wore a size 2 or a size 18. I love her and I'd support whatever her goals were, to lose, to stay the same, to be left alone with a bag of oreos...whatever and I'd tell her I'll be here for you through it all and if you feel like putting down the cookies , do it when you want to and I'll be here to help you achieve your goals. You cannot be kinder to others than you are to yourself. Sometimes you need to be your own best friend and be patient and loving with the you that eats a cookie, and be available to the part of you that needs a break or the part that is ready to tackle a new goal. 2 big hugs today because you need them from you!! You are wonderful Carol and you are on a journey....like a marriage, sometimes things are great and then we hit a ditch for a time and revisit someplace we thought we'd never go back to but we do and we get out of the ditch a little faster than we did the last time....sorry-that was long!!
20 Dec 10 by member: sharonfriz
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Well Moose, don't you fret. Like Cathy said, we are all having issues thru this season. We just have to promise ourselves that it will stop soon and we can all begin again. I have gained, and I'm sure others have also. We just have to promise ourselves to not let it go any longer after the holidays are over. I have made the commitment to begin in true ernest on Jan 2nd. I really want to do this and am working on getting my brain back into gear. Like you always said, it is a journey not a race and we will probably be on this trip forever. So....we might as well get going, right? You have a wonderful evening Carol and stay warm!
20 Dec 10 by member: The Next Number
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Sharon ... wow ... deep indeed!!! A lovely comment. Thank you. You are so right. I'll just keep plodding along ... it came on ... it will come off!!!
20 Dec 10 by member: madaboutmoose
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Me, personally, I have to believe your scale is broken. Shake it a couple of times, eat healthy for a couple of days, maybe that will fix it! I move my scale around and don't trust what it says if the number makes me unhappy. Can't be me drinking hard cider and snarfing cider donuts!
20 Dec 10 by member: abbadabba
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I had a nice comment, but when I submitted it I lost the internet connection... Anyway, love yourself here and now, don't wait for the number to be perfect because you'll end up like me lol, and that's not fun. ((hugs))
20 Dec 10 by member: jessyline
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Carol, I echo all of the above. I am here for you and hear for you, to listen, to support, no condemnation, no remorse. It is what it is, its just a number. You are still fabulous whatever you weigh. You will do this again, it justs takes time and there is no end, its all just part of the game of life. HUGS
21 Dec 10 by member: sarahsmum
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