Vickiauntmick's Journal, 16 September 2018

nothing wrong with cheese I eat a serving almost everyday 

You doing good because it wasn't a cupcake so you are strong  

Everyone has given you wonderful advice. Funny how people in your life feel they have the right to comment on your food choices. Having been there, done that - I recommend that you have a phrase chosen and planned, for those moments. Do not react with emotion! Say something like, "I choose what I eat." That way you take back your own power. You make no excuses. You seek no approval or understanding. You simply say what is true -- what you eat IS your choice. Next don't assume people looking at you are judging you. Some may be but many are not. Don't make assumptions. Finally, re-frame any negative thoughts as they happen. Recognize you are thinking negatively and immediately counter act it. Stick with facts and don't make things into 'good' or 'bad'. You ate the cheese you hadn't planned for. That is a fact. What will you do next? Choose. (make sure your choice has nothing of punishment in it!) Example: I will eat the same nutritious meal I had planned for myself before I chose to eat that cheese. That way the binge ends right then and there. Not tomorrow but at the very next meal. 

I can see where your dad's comment would send you off the rails. You showed constraint by not telling where to park his lip :) I had three family members on my back so I would eat in private. Not the healthiest way to eat. Again, you did great. That little bit of cheese and the other food wasn't as bad as you might think. Doubt you ate over 3500 calories at one time and if you did, do better tomorrow. Anything gained would be water weight that will come off fast enough. Pat yourself on the back for doing as good as you did. 

Cheese is a MAJOR staple of my diet!!!! and i've lost 30lb since june!!!  

Ouch. It takes courage to admit you left the trail. The good part is when you find your way back, people like FS members will be there to encourge and support you.  

I try to keep my cool and say something stock as suggested like "thank you for your input, I will think about what you are saying." I don't add "and will realize you are a jerk" at least not out loud! 

Ok, so you had a bad day. Don't let it turn into a bad week, month, year, etc..I am sure we have all been there in some form or another. Keep your head up! 

Ok so you had a bad day. Can you get back on track? You can ;). And in my opinion, it’s cheese. Yes a block of it but it’s better than what I’d have grabbed. I’d have run to the gas station and loaded up on king size candy bars and a regular coke. Good job holding yourself accountable. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope it’s a better day for you! 

Just read down some. Family can be cruel. He may have meant well but he could’ve been much nicer about it! And girl, when I was smaller I could eat a whole medium pizza! I still eat half sometimes just because it’s so good and if I don’t then I’ll binge on everything. YOU are beautiful! YOU are sweet, funny and kind from what I’ve seen. Lacking self confidence is a bitch, excuse the language, and I know as I lack it as well most of the time. You can see by these comments that many people think you are pretty awesome. Try your best to realize that this isn’t your real dad. If it is then realize that you are better than that and his opinion shouldn’t weigh you down :). I’m so very sorry you are hurting and I hope you are in a better place now (just realized this isn’t today’s post). 

it could have been a candy bar or worse. enjoy it and move on 

Just get on the wagon again!!! Don’t destroy yourself because of others! 

People will treat you any way they choose. you can't do a thing about their behavior. They will chose to be what they chose to be. The only thing you can control is how you react. I often wonder what it is like to be that shitty person rather than worrying about how they behave towards me, ie I don't take it personal. One thing I learned years ago is that how people treat you is simply a look into their true being. If they are caring to you even when it's tough for them then they are caring people. if they act like assholes then they are assholes. I could hate you and still choose to be kind. It takes a stronger person to be kind when being mean could be so easy. I spent a few years in counseling trying to figure out why I worried so much about what others thought. One day my therapist told me to make a list of everything that truly mattered to me. Then cross of everything that I could actually control. What is left is what you live for and in her words Fuck everything and everyone else. This may seem like strange advice but it was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the time I needed to hear it. Today I am at my lowest weight since highschool, I am in the best shape of my adult life, my relationship with my kids and wife and friends are the best they have ever been, my career is the best it has ever been. Life is the best it has ever been. Just remember that you can chose to be negative or positive. You can treat people well or poorly. Everyone else is in the same situation. Don't take things personally if they chose to treat you poorly, move on and enjoy life, you only get one to live so make it yours.  

I had the same kind of father, which made me the overweight person I am today. Yes, I blame him. But he is gone now and I refuse to let his demons haunt me for one more second. I have a lot of life left to live, and I will live it as a slim person....if it takes the rest of my life. You got this, or at least it's in sight!  

It is very hard to lose a parent - especially the way your dad is going, mind first. Hang in there - one day at a time! 

Sending you love. ❤ Also, encouraging you to ride this out and be gentle on yourself. You know what's going on and why you're off track. You'll get back to it, you simply need some comforting right now. 😊  

Praying for you!🙏🏾 Your parent would want you to take care of yourself because they LOVE us too! 💞 

You guys are amazing. Have I told you that today?  

We all have that happen. This happens to me frequently. I hope you’re ok.