paulathequeen's Journal

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30 April 2012

So on Saturday I weighed 274 when I went to the gym and I was sooooo sad! I bought a bunch of meat to cook up and have ready and I threw out all of the roasted nuts I had in the house (and I ate popcorn and butter on Sunday--not so good) and am recommitted to following the food plan at the back of Why We Get Fat to the letter until I've lost all I want to lose. I was super glad to be back down to 266 this morning, so obviously most of the weight on Saturday was water (I went to the bathroom at least 5 times during the night last night which was another clue.). I keep praying, begging, for god to give me relief from food obsession and to be able to continue to read and learn and do what will make my body healthy and happy.

I'm excited to go to see my doctor tomorrow and to get my blood tested. I'm super curious to see if my hdl/ldl/and cholesterol levels have improved and how my blood sugar is doing.

Weigh-in: 266.0 lb

lost so far: 2.0 lb

still to go: 96.0 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(1 comment) gaining 1.0 lb a week

25 April 2012

So was I still up to 268 when I went to exercise today and I felt so discouraged. I was also frustrated and in a hormonal mood, which made things not pretty. I ate the rest of the m and ms, then ate a burrito from taco bell and 3 pieces of pizza from little ceasars. Then tonight I ate 5 crab wontons, a spring roll, two cookies, and two small pieces of cake at Chinese Gourmet, oh, and some root beer float. (Levi liked it so much he ate most of it).

I really want to quit weighing myself every day, instead doing it once a week at most. I want to keep my focus on feeling good and taking good care of my body. I think I know that carbs have given me high blood pressure, insulin resistance/metabolic syndrome, and obesity and could give me serious heart problems. I don't want to have those problems anymore, no matter what my weight is or the shape of my body. I like having more energy and being able to "run" and roll and wrestle with Levi and Ivy. I like climbing on the swingset at the park. I like being less self conscious when I go places. I like having a smaller belly to haul around. I like moving more freely and exercising without losing my breath. I like easily climbing the stairs. All of that I've gained since January makes me very grateful and happy. Wearing smaller clothes is also nice; alone it is not enough. I want to focus on all of the other benefits that I get from eating foods that are good for me. I'm praying for god to continue to teach me and guide me to learn all I can about how foods affect my body. Tonight I started listening to a book about belly fat called Lose the wheat, Love the weight and find your way back to health. The author, a doctor, posits that wheat alone is the greatest cause of obesity and the entire metabolic syndrome problem. I wonder if that is true. I want to find a food plan that I can live with for the rest of my life; it would be wonderful if it could actually include some carbs and sweets that I could eat in moderation.

My next step is to make an appointment with my doctor to talk about what I'm doing and to have blood work done to see if my cholesterol, hdl, and ldl are moving closer to healthy levels. That will tell me a lot about the food plan I'm on.

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24 April 2012

I felt really discouraged yesterday after putting on a pound on the weekend when eating correctly per my food plan. Last night I binged--I really wanted candy, but since I didn't have any in the house I ate a bunch of other carbs--popcorn, corn tortillas, crackers, chocolate chips. Then I still wanted candy, so I drove to Target and bought whoppers, nibs, and peanut M & Ms. I did buy small bags of the whoppers and nibs (5 oz each) and a 12 oz bag of the M & Ms. I ate all of the nibs and whoppers and just a few of the m and ms which didn't taste that good to me. I think the trick for me will be to binge as infrequently as possible and to eat only the carb I am really craving (in this case go straight for the candy) and to buy only a small amount so there's nothing left after the binge. Maybe then I can call it a planned treat and it won't hurt me as much as eating so many carbs and then still wanting the thing I wanted to start with. I keep praying god will teach me what I can eat and how I can do this for a lifetime and will give me the ability to continue to do this forever. I want to feel good, have energy to play with my grandkids, and have a healthy and strong body.

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23 April 2012

I put on weight over the weekend again, but this time I didn't eat anything I wasn't supposed to and this time it was just one pound instead of 3. I still lost three pounds during the week (the three I had put on the week before) and I'm going to continue eating the way I have been with lots of nuts. If I don't lose at least 3 pounds this week, I'll cut back on nuts.

Weigh-in: 265.0 lb

lost so far: 3.0 lb

still to go: 95.0 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

add comment gaining 2.3 lb a week

20 April 2012

I'm eating a lot of nuts right now and might not keep recording my food as long as I stay away from carbs.

Weigh-in: 264.0 lb

lost so far: 4.0 lb

still to go: 94.0 lb

Diet followed 100%

add comment losing 7.0 lb a week

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