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13 June 2015

Weigh-in: 291.4 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 119.4 lb Diet followed 100%
   add comment on diet Calorie Count   losing 0.6 lb a week

12 June 2015

I blew it for the last two weeks. I let stress and deadlines keep me from working out and feeling good.

Yesterday I jumped back on the bandwagon. Did the Curves circuit both yesterday and this morning. Then I pushed my fat self out there and walked for 25 minutes this evening. That officially puts me at the most activity in one day for this weight loss health improvement plan.

I maintained my intake today too and so far kept it at about 1500 calories today but I'm ravenous. :) I went to bed hungry last night. After demolishing two handfuls of cherry tomatoes and a couple of string cheeses a few minutes ago I'm still not satisfied. I'm going to have to take a few more bites to stop the growling, hahaha.

Tomorrow its back to Curves. I added my two teenage daughters so they can go, support me and hopefully learn better lifestyle and health choices than the ones I have. I don't want my girls to be fat and miserable like me. :)
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28 May 2015

It's amazing how good it feels to work out and stretch. Started PT for my shoulder and it feels stronger already too.

Still struggling with eating smaller portions and stopping bad habits like the big bowl of cereal I ate last night before bed. But it seems like exercise may already be helping because despite that, I woke up with my stomach growling like a bear.

I'm down 4.2 pounds in just 7 days. My goal is to drop 20-25 pounds a month for June and July. At this rate I may even reach the goal. I didn't make it to the gym on Tuesday. We were all still fairly disturbed by the horrific motorcycle accident we witnessed in front of our home over the weekend. But I went Wednesday and got back into the routine. I'm heading back there this morning before I start the rest of my day. It feels really good to work out at Curves, I like it a lot more than I expected.
Weigh-in: 292.8 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 120.8 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Calorie Count   losing 4.2 lb a week

21 May 2015

I'm here again. Been a long time. I re-read my journal entry from July 11, 2014 and it made me cry. Here I am, again, almost a year later and more than 15 pounds heavier. It's official, I finally weigh over 300 pounds! I'm horribly miserable. I hide from my weight and all of the ways it prevents me from living a functional and happy existence.

I was laid off in February so now I work at a desk at home for myself instead of in an office for other people... but that just made the fridge easier to get to. It's since then I've put on the last 10 pounds or so. That's when my 3x clothes stopped fitting. Went shopping to buy some super fat stretch pants and decided I needed a bra pretty badly as well. The nice 40ish woman at the bra store was trying to help by measuring me but it was yet another awkward moment when she couldn't reach around me and I had to help. I just feel so gargantuan compared to other people.

I somehow injured my shoulder about 8 months ago now and I'm about to start PT for it but the combination of my weight and lack of proper range of motion in my shoulder.... I'm really having a hard time even dressing myself. My husband has been helping me get dressed when I've struggled with my hurt shoulder to get into 3x clothes that didn't fit and couldn't connect my bra. He's loved me so much through all of this. These last 30+/- pounds seem to have really built a barrier of some kind between he and I as well. The love is still strong but I just can't keep up with him anymore. I can't seem to keep up the pace my kids seem to need from me either lately. I'm tired and sluggish. I can't keep living this way.

The recent events led me to seek help from my doctor. It wasn't the first time. Last Dr I asked for help put me on phentermine despite my reports that it caused me terrible anxiety. That lasted all of 2 days. I've spent the last 6 months laxidazily trying to find a good doctor to potentially help me get gastric bypass surgery because I didn't feel like I could do it any other way. I finally got a good doctor lined up, had to wait 30 days for appointment, and he referred me to the nutritionist. I'm ready to go with the flow so I make an appointment.... another 30 days out. :( 15 days later, I get a call from scheduling to push that appointment another 30 days out. :( So, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, I'd normally retreat with some food and let it go.

Yesterday, with all of this on my mind... I made a leap that's out of character and joined a local Curves gym. Its more money than I wanted to spend but I have to do something different. I can't keep letting life pass me by. Last night I snacked on fruit instead of ice cream and this morning I drank a protein meal replacement drink. I am here long enough to write this entry and get my fatsecret account ready to help me track a journey that I'm hoping will be my WIN against a lifetime of obesity. [deep breathe] Well, that's it.... my first workout starts in a few minutes, I better get moving.
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21 May 2015

Weigh-in: 297.0 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 125.0 lb Diet followed N/A
   add comment on diet Calorie Count   gaining 5.2 lb a week

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