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04 August 2012

I am doing ok for now, although I just started working out again this week. I've done at least 30min of Zumba for four days, then today I walked at a park for at least a half mile with my bible study group but I'm very VERY worried. In just two or so weeks I start up school again, it's a hectic schedule, more so than I have been used to since my daughter Xiomara was born. Usually what happens is I spend the day doing whatever because the baby monitor doesn't work in the garage where I work out, my mom comes home and works out, takes the dogs for a walk once my dad gets home and she may cook. Either I will have to workout before my mom, and it might be pushing it since she's anal about her workout schedule. Or I'll be working out really late in the evening which would suck since I like the music to be loud...oh well for the next two or so weeks I'll try and stay focused. But damn there just aren't enough hours in a day, or rather why do I need to sleep so much...does focus factor work? But I'm currently watching season 5 ep 4 or 5 of Lost. I'm addicted...I never watched it when it came on tv but thank goodness for netflix!

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01 August 2012

Uh, well. I've hit some sort of block. I can't say i was ever thin past puberty and I was NEVER all that active. After high school I lost weight for no reason from 180-160 over a few years. Then I got pregnant and I'm stuck in the 170's only now I see gradual weight gain. I did a few weeks of what I call strict dieting. I never went over 2500 calories, I did zumba everyday, I measured everything from peanut butter to milk and cereal but alas, I still live with my parents and my dad demands cookies weekly and I fell off, plus summer school hit and my schedule left no room for working out. Now every other day I hate the way I look, when I don't hate it I love it; love the folds, the thickness everything. I've picked up another set of rules to follow, I'll try not to eat breads, and pastas, I already don't do fast food that much. I try to drink only water and when I feel hungry I drink water and wait to see if I am really even hungry, and I try not to eat after 7...but I've been pushing it to 8 since my mom cooks so late. Sweets are my real issue though, I feel like I don't even like meat that much, I don't get excited when my mom cooks anymore because she's a health nut who can't give up cheese. She substitutes turkey for everything; turkey tacos, turkey bacon. She has egg whites which simply have to taste to me, like tofu or something. But if I cut it all out its like I literally have nothing to eat in the house and I'm no rabbit.

I just have no idea what to do, being unemployed isn't helping and I'm a total homebody I don't like going anywhere, I'd get lost going down the street-i'm ridiculous and I have no friends...I do but they're scattered across the country, the world even so no one I hang out with even on an every 6 month basis.

I'm thinking on taking B12, I hear it gives you energy but I haven't researching anything. I don't want to do diet pills because I did them when I was like 16 and I went nuts with it taking four in the morning and at night, I'm surprised I never got sick.

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01 August 2012

Weigh-in: 177.0 lb

lost so far: 0 lb

still to go: 37.0 lb

Diet followed N/A

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