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I will win's Journal

 
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07 March 2017

Bloody Tuesday again and I have a hot date with the scales.
Here I am snuggled up in my blanket press all alone. All I said was “morning sweetheart” and there was a streak of light as she left the pit heading out into the house. I just wanna stay here not interested in getting out yet but that voice , oh that voice yelling to get my fat lazy arse into motion along with a demanding bladder neither which can be ignored.
This is all I can complain about and I am feeling deprived. Can’t complain about not feeling well, nor a headache, no surgery, no pain (yet), no overeating, No maltesers, no wine, I can even walk further than 50 yards to the pub and proved it by walking straight past McDonalds and Pizza Hut both in the same day, Oh dear, how boring is that huh ?
Now preparation and planning prevents Pi^s poor performance so let’s do a little planning here.
I had a tip last week when a Buddy asked about shaving my eyebrows.
You know what, I never even considered that what a cracking idea so step one, put new blade in razor.
Having loaded the razor good old “gob almighty” turns up with that supercilious look on her face to ask what the heck (well she used a different word but I am sure you clever lot will interpret) do I think I am doing.
I told her about my Buddy suggesting removing eyebrows to save a little more weight.
She gave me one of her looks, you know the sort, that look which only a woman can give.
Her eyes drifted south and it came to me instantly so offered her the razor asking for assistance.
Now let me tell you this. My wife has a good command of the English language but the words she uttered are not for printing and I can’t spell some of them anyway. She was last seen disappearing into the kitchen saying something about breakfast and a “pervert”.
I went a stage further ending up with a bald north and south and a little chilly around the ears.
In came her with the” big gob” looked at the floor and left the bathroom without comment. Wow thinks me I got away with that rather well. Not so, “motor mouth” returned holding a vacuum cleaner in her hand and I was the recipient of another one of those looks along with a verbal battering as she cast doubt and suspicion on my intelligence.
She left the bathroom yelling over her shoulder, clean the bloody place up smart arse.
Now how the hell she knew that, I have no idea as she never looked behind me at all, not once.
Now it was time for a shower and being completely bald all over puts whole new meaning on the phrase “The Naked Truth”.
Now the normal routine, rings off, teeth out, glass eye in water, cut toenails, cut finger nails then I head for the throne to sit and wait for mother nature to do her bit. I can even contemplate my navel now my belly is smaller, not seen that for a while either (the navel).
Water tank empty, ballast tank checked and confirmed empty, wife walks past eyes raised up tutting like a demented chicken as her head moves from side to side then I head for the scales to see what the lying hunk of springs and balances has to say today. I should be able to see the screen today as my belly has receded somewhat and I actually saw my toes this morning as I stood shaving. No need to call “rent-a-gob” to read them anymore.
The results of my week is a loss of 1.4 kg or 3 lbs in funny money, not bad I am satisfied with that.
I have decided to try something completely new for a week or so just to see how it works for me.
As you can see in the picture below, I have received some professional advice, so from today I am going to try this “fasting” lark and believe me I will stick with it no matter how hungry I get.
So, told her who controls the shopping list to cut down on the crisps, the cheese and no more Mars Bars but to increase the cakes and scones along with a few pork pies and biscuits as I am going to fast. This not eating between meals will allow me time to sit and enjoy the above in the evening when meals are over and I am watching TV.
As usual with my journal readers are reminded that I am here to enjoy life, any derogatory remarks about my wife are made in jest only, she is a truly lovely lady who supports me fully but you do have the option to smile it can be infectious you know.
HEALTH WARING……………………………………………………………………………………………………….
The information in this journal is not the opinion of Fat Secret or any person associated with same.
The journal is not intended to insult or upset any person living or deceased.
Any similarity to another individual is purely coincidental.
Readers are to avoid laughing such activity is not conducive to good Fat Secret practice.
This journal was written slowly for the benefit of Mrs Maths who is not a fast reader.
Weigh-in: 226.4 lb lost so far: 33.5 lb still to go: 14.8 lb Diet followed N/A
   (9 comments) losing 3.1 lb a week

05 March 2017

I suppose it is inevitable that we will upset someone without even trying.
You may well be good natured and a person with the best of intentions but there is always that “someone” who will get upset with you.
It could be that they have had a bad day or they are not feeling well but by far the most common reason is they have taken you post the wrong way.
This is a problem in all the different forums not just FS and to demonstrate how a post can be misconstrued have a go at this little phrase: -
“You want me to buy her a gift?”
Looking at it you can see it is a straight forward simple question but now read it with the accent on one word such as raise the voice for that word then you will see how many different ways it can be taken.
1.YOU want me to buy her a gift – Objecting to you.
2. You WANT me to buy her a gift. – Objecting to you wanting.
3. You want ME to buy her a gift. – Objecting to you wanting Me to do it.
4 You want me to BUY her a gif. – Objecting to spending your money.
5. You want me to buy HER a gift. – Objecting to the person receiving the gift.
6. You want me to buy her a GIFT. – Objecting to a gift at all.
7. You want me to buy her a gift – An offer to assist with good intentions.
In actual fact, the truth is in the form of a straight forward question all that is missing is the word “Do” then it changes everything to a person trying to be helpful.
Now why am I writing all this crap you ask, simple, I have managed to upset someone on FS with my humour and I knew it would happen sooner or later.
I have been told to limit my P.^ss taking to my own journal by someone who I will not name but who obviously has a limited sense of humour.
This is a normal thing in our world of seeing something in writing but no body language to support it and I accept that with a BUT.
I cannot accept that members assume the role of moderator when they disagree with something.
I object to them thinking they have a god given right to chastise another member.
I object to them refusing to accept the principle of free speech and voicing their own opinion but not allowing others to have one.
As in most forums, including FS, there is a procedure to report any abuse you believe to be there allowing the moderator to make a judgment and take any action they feel is warranted.
One member being abusive to another only serves to spoil the intention of the forum but the other point is that if a member believes or considers a post to their journal to be abusive or uncalled for there is always that magic “delete” button and the post is gone. It is not the job of another member to intervene and make a caustic comment.
It is clear to me now that it is wrong for one member to disagree with another. It is clear that if a member is failing in their desire to lose weight we have to tell them “well done tomorrow is another day”
We are not allowed to criticise constructive or not, we can only say nice things and never tell the truth. If you tell the truth you will be accused of being “harsh” so better to say what they want to hear and not what is the fact. The end result would be the person struggling would never learn.
God help you if you disagree with another member, that is a cardinal sin.
The biggest danger of course is the member who is on the receiving end of the Vicious tongue will at best refrain from attempting to help another member or even leave FS completely – Perhaps that is the aim who knows !!

01 March 2017

28 February 2017

End of the month so today is not just weigh in day but also measurement day. This is the one day in a month when she puts her arms around me as she whispers in my ear…. “Huh, you should be so bloody, lucky forget it mate” …sniffle
Now before I go into this post properly let me apologise to all on FS for feeling on top of the world.
I have no pains, no cold or flu, no headache, no requirement to visit the doctor and no loss of appetite.
I don’t have a pretty picture of food to show you, I don’t have a cat and my dogs won’t sit still long enough to take one with my nice posh camera to put on here.
I have stuck to my diet 100%, the dog has not bitten me, the wife is still speaking to me and I have not eaten a full box of chocolate,
I don’t even have “chocolate Balls”,
I have not drunk a full bottle of wine (yet) I am in a total healthy condition, can’t even tell you about any surgery, sorry, but that’s the way it is and I hate garlic bread.
One thing I can tell you about which may be different here on FS and that is losing weight despite the fact I don’t have a Fitbit thingy and I risk being a boring old fart now.
Well let me tell you today how happy I am that I aint a woman and this is a true situation not one of my make believe funny things.
This could well have been worse and so embarrassing but being a man it saved the day.
Yesterday good wife and I were in town walking around shopping when I felt a movement of an undergarment going south.
The more I walked the further south they went until eventually I could feel them around the tops of my legs being held there purely by my trousers legs.
Whilst nobody could tell of my awkward situation it was bloody uncomfortable walking around town like that.
Wife then added insult to injury by asking why I was “fidgeting” and just would not give up until I told her. By this time we were in Marks and Sparks and the shop was well populated as I whispered in her ear describing my situation.
This produced an unwanted reaction from said wife who took a step back saying in less than a quiet voice….. “they are what… falling down” the result of her comment was
a very red face on me as I squirmed making an attempt to shut her up and I wanted my wheelchair it would be far better than this bloody rollator.
She then stated the obvious (women do that you know) saying “well while we are in here lets go and buy you smaller ones.” All this was said as two younger females were standing looking at a dress and well within earshot of “super voice wife”.
Off to the men’s department to grab the required garment which seem to be in multi packs as well as free standing ones. Wife grabs a pack, holds them up saying, “how about these” just as those two younger ladies walked by. They took a sideways look at me and honestly, they smiled as it was obvious I was more than embarrassed. It was now clear to them (and probably the whole bloody shop) what it was that were falling down.
Enough serious stuff now the fun part.
This morning I awake to complete the usual Tuesday routine. Teeth out, glasses off, glass eye in water, ring on shelf a quick exercise of the noisy area and a drain down of the water tank then on the scales. Can’t see the numbers so call the wife (you know the one with the big gob) who yells back for me to put my F$*&% glasses on……. WOMEN !!!!!
(it may have been something to do with me wearing my birthday suit)!!!
Why can’t she understand glasses are just extra weight !!!!!!!!
Anyway, the end result my weight is down this week by 0.9 kg. or 1.9 lbs in Mrs Maths money.
From the 3rd January:- My man boobs are smaller by 11 cm (4.33 inches)
(wife can have her bra back now)
Since 3rd January my belly is down by 5 cm (1.9 inches)
Since 3rd January my butt is down my 6 cm (2.3 inches)

All in all I am happy with my results.
Weigh-in: 229.5 lb lost so far: 30.4 lb still to go: 17.9 lb Diet followed N/A
   (12 comments) losing 1.8 lb a week

21 February 2017

I don’t know if any reader has noticed but there is a bloody Tuesday in every week grrrrr.
Don’t like Tuesdays me cos I have to drag my poor old starving body into the bathroom and shove it on the scales then be prepared for a fight with Mr Digital.
I am thinking of changing my weigh in day in the hope I can improve on things so my good lady wife is suggesting I weigh myself on a day which has a “Y” in it.
Going to buy a calendar now to find a day with a “Y” in it, more bloody expense!
Browsing Google is so confusing when looking for a diet to follow. There are dozens of them all telling me how much I can lose in a week so it aint easy getting one that works for me so I did the sensible thing and selected a few of them to see what happens. So my logic is that if one tells me I can lose two pounds in a week and another says I can lose 3 pounds in a week then if I follow both at the same time I should lose five pounds a week. I am going to try five of them all at the same time so watch out for a dramatic weigh change !!!
Anyway, one of them seems to have worked as the scales tell me I have lost 1.6 KG or 3.5 lbs in funny money this week, this gives me a total loss since January 3 of 13 kg or 28.6 lbs in the money used by Mrs Maths.
For some strange unknown reason my good lady wife thinks I am a penny short of a pound but Hey Ho, win some lose some.
As always dear FS buddies, please don’t take me too seriously, you can smile as for today smiling is free.
On a more serious note. It can be seen that my weight loss has been rapid and I know for sure this will not continue as my weight decreases. Right now, the only thing I am counting is calories limiting myself to 1100 calories per day and refusing to go over that number.
There will be those who say I am lucky finding it so easy. Let me say right now it is far from easy. This is testing my will power to the limit. It is testing my determination and resolve but I am winning right now and in the end one thing is for sure…………I WILL WIN !!!!!!🤞
Weigh-in: 231.3 lb lost so far: 28.7 lb still to go: 19.6 lb Diet followed N/A
   (8 comments) losing 3.5 lb a week

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