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Weight History
showing entries 21 to 25 of 25
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05 April 2016
Went to therapy yesterday. During my therapy session my therapist and I discover that I am too hard on myself, that I do not value myself enough. She ask me a few simple question "what are three things that you like about yourself?" I couldn't find an answer to that. "What are three things you value the most?" and I came up with my son, my school, and my job. She then asked "Give yourself a compliment?" and I couldn't answer her. She then looks at me and tells me, "I don't see YOU in any of these answers. You can't see for yourself all the amazing qualities you have. And no matter what I tell you, you won't believe it until you believe it yourself." My throat tighten. I felt sick to my stomach. How can I not see that I put everything before me, before my health, before my emotional stability. I go days without doing my hair, make up or setting up a cute outfit. I have been feeling so down that I have forgotten the most important person "ME".
(6 comments)
04 April 2016
I am a little upset about myself today. It's Monday and here at work co-workers brought snacks and I ate a brownie. Now I'm beating myself over it. UUUGGGHHHH!!! Why can't I resist? I'm going to work out extra today and try to make up for it. I really wish I had the strength to resist and diet without feeling like I'm suffering.
(10 comments)
02 April 2016
I weighed myself today after a 24 hour cleanser and my scale said 186.6 lbs. Losing a few pounds feels great but Lord knows how badly I want to see a few less. It takes too much patience to slowly see the difference on a week by week basis. Sometimes I'm eager to weigh myself everyday but that can be upsetting given the fluctuation throughout the week. So I don't do it. Today I ate lots of carbs cause I went to a show on Broadway and men it's hard not to buy a pretzel in downtown Manhattan. I feel the quilt and I'm a little down now. I am going to turn up some music and hopefully workout some and get my energy back.
(4 comments)
01 April 2016
For the past year or more I have suffered with bipolar depression. I am on medication and therapy to aid with my condition. It so happens that my meds side effects are weight gain among others. I have gained 45 in just one year and losing has been a nightmare. I still have night cravings, sweet craving and worst of all I desire to binge when I'm anxious, stressed or depressed. Suffering with depression can put an extra strain on dieting. At least I can say is that exercise has helped my mood and my overall emotional feeling. But some days I feel too down or tired to workout.
(9 comments)
31 March 2016
Today I feel a bit more happy with myself. At work I was offered cupcakes twice and I was strong enough to say no both times and I don't regret it. I have had sweets binging issues in the past. I want that part of my past to stay in the past.
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