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Weight History
showing entries 11 to 15 of 25
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03 May 2018
Well back down at least. I have no clue why I gained. I am kinda like that though which is why I hate getting on the scale. It can get me so discouraged. I was a little bit bummed when I gained but instead of giving up I just tried to put it out of my head. Just kept trying to reign in my eating habits. I am getting better. Finding my plate full of more veggies and less carbs. My late night snacking seems to be under control, I have basically talked myself out of it everyday this week.I have brought healthy snacks to work to help with my desk munching. And... I stay outta the break room when I can so I don't eat to much crap. I have cut down on my portion sizes sorta. I make up for it by adding large amounts of spinach or kale so it looks like I have a lot. One day I made some jasmine rice and I burned half the pot, so I only had a serving size cause I could only salvage the very middle. Figured it was a sign. I know dinner and my serving sizes are a big problem. I tend to pile to much on the plate. I love to cook and cooking for one is a bit hard. Always seems to be more than I need. I think I used to portion it out and put some in the freezer for lunches. That way I wouldn't eat 3 servings. I think I am on my way. Trying to move around a little more. Spring is finally here and I am getting my garden together. I am setting goals to just get up and move around which at my present weight and physical condition is exercise. My FitBit broke so I can't track my step progress anymore. I was improving too. I can't afford another one but my friend wants to upgrade to the latest version and she is going to give me hers. I had mine for 4 years it was a gift from a friend. She helped me get started on the last weight loss journey. She said she recognized that I was not a very competitive person. That I was self competitive and that the fitbit would help me. And she was right. I do miss that little gadget. I am almost wanting to get back to the gym but I have reservations. I am working my way there though. Hopefully soon I will be back to my friday night dates with Gym, that hot sweaty, sexy thing.
(3 comments)
03 May 2018
Weigh-in:
350.0 lb
lost so far:
1.0 lb
still to go:
99.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
(1 comment)
losing 5.0 lb a week
26 April 2018
Weigh-in:
355.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
104.0 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
add comment
gaining 4.0 lb a week
23 April 2018
I don't loose weight weekly. I never have. I show a loss like every 10 days. I know I am weird. I remember going to weight watchers years ago and doing the weekly weigh ins and I would never show a loss, and everybody would clap and say "It's Ok hang in there, keep at it, you can do it!" then like 3 days later I would get I the scale and be like "WOOOHOO! down 3 pounds, yeah!" I would look around like somebody was gonna notice but this wasn't meeting day and nobody was there. I wanted it to be like AA and I could seek out any meeting just to get on the scale and show everybody I did it. Then meeting day would come I would get on the scale and be down like a pound. This kinda thing just freaks me out, starts me over analyzing every thing. Back then I was younger so I would try starving myself for days before weigh in. That was a dumb idea. I have been on this roller coaster ride so many times I could tell stories all night. Thing is I have been successful almost every time. This time I thought it would stick because I thought I had it all figured out. I didn't take into account my age and injury and the length of time I could be down for the count. I didn't know how to handle that. The frustration of not being able to function, not do my workouts, not do my daily activities and struggle just to do my job. I laughed at the doctors who have a doctors salary and kept telling me I needed to take time off to heal. I am single and live paycheck to paycheck, I couldn't take time off. All that stress, I caved, I ate a whole pizza on more than one occasion and I didn't care. I gave up hope, I stopped trying, and for a while food was the only thing that made me happy. I didn't go near the scale, except for doctors appointments. My clothes kept getting tighter and my wardrobe getting more and more limited. I kept making half hearted attempts at starting a program. Slowly I eased into being accountable for what I was eating. Trying to add a few more steps to the Fitbit each week. But my motivation was not there. I didn't have any at all really. Even though I knew I was out of control. Then I got on the scale and nearly fell off. Not only was I back in the 300 club, I was halfway to the 400 party. I have never been this heavy in all my life. I tried to get on the scale this week. It was bad. But I have been pretty good. So I stressed out on friday and ate, a lot. Can't even recall what I really consumed. Saturday was a little better but I was aware and accountable for my actions so I managed some control and by Sunday I was back on track. I won't do that again. Every two weeks is enough scale time for me. My first goal is just to get out of the 300 club. My second is to get back down to where I was before the surgery. The progress may be slower then it was before because my mobility is limited. As long as I just keep trying eventually it will have to pay off. Right.
(9 comments)
19 April 2018
Just looked back and I have logged in every day for 2 weeks. That's pretty good for me. I have not been able to stick to logging my calorie intake for more than a few days, maybe a week tops. Kudos to my former app for getting hacked and causing me to find this program instead. I had looked for a new app a few times but never found anything that compared to the one I was using. Till I found this one. I don't know what it is that keeps me logging in. Maybe its the interaction that I have with others who share my same interest in getting healthy. The way the groups are designed and I can follow those who seem to share the same ideals as me. Maybe its the support we give each other that keeps me coming back. Maybe its the way the program is laid out making it easy to log in from my phone or my computer. I am not really sure what it is exactly but for some reason I'm still here.
I did join the 30 day exercise challenge. Not sure if I'm really digging that yet we shall see. That is what got me motivated before. I joined some strangers 30 day squat challenge on Facebook. Before I knew it I was back at the gym again. Despite needing a total hip replacement, I was getting it done. Its been really hard to get motivated this time. Mostly with the exercise. So maybe this is what I need.
Seems I can stick to it for a week or so and then I just get discouraged. I tell myself I don't care, and I like donuts. But I do care. I still like donuts. But I do care I can't fit in the seat at the concerts this summer. I do care my joints hurt so bad I can hardly walk some days making it even harder to keep moving. I do care I am out of breath before getting to my car after work. I do care that I can't take hike and photograph the wild life because I fear walking to far from the car I might die before I make it back. Because that's what if feels like. I do care I can't go into the city with my friend because walking 1 city block leaves me in tears, and I have to stop every couple hundred feet. So why don't I just stick it out and get it done. Because its F-ing hard. Its really, really F-ING hard! I feel like the child who cries and stomps their feet when they don't wanna do something. NO, NO, NO I don't wanna do leg lifts, I want cake. You see I am in it for a long haul....not 10...not 20..not even 30 pounds will get me to my goal. As I scan the magazines at the check out. Pfft F that! They have no idea what it is like to try to loose 100+ pounds. Sure I'll drink Kale shakes for the next 2 years of my life every damn day. Yeah I'll stick to that for sure. No, No I won't stick to that for 2 days. There is no instant fix, no 2 weeks to beach body, no ab blast workout to get rid of my gut. Nope. This is a lifestyle change, a good habit nurturing, soul searching expedition. I have done this before only it does get harder as you get older. Maybe this time I can delve deep enough into the inner workings of my brain to figure out how and why I keep coming back to a place where I am so uncomfortable. Like going back to the abusive lover. Like falling off the wagon headfirst into a pile of icing and just making camp there despite the sticky feeling. Somehow its comforting and unnerving all at the same time.
But here I am sticking to this for 2 weeks now. Go me. Baby steps right. Hey I'm even adding in little exercise. WOOOTWOOT. Toddler steps, Im at a wobbly jog. Go Me...
(1 comment)
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