nicoletnt's Journal, 07 April 2010

I don't blame you for being disappointed. I am an RN with the fat gene to fight against. My mom, I have watched her being obese (>300 lb) all of my life. She has tried and failed (usually miserably) so many diets and plans. I researched and even went to the seminar on the lap band vs gastric bypass. I would recommend seriously looking at your history. Have you tried everything? Are you ready to admit that you need some drastic help (yes, she does). Also I would recommend looking at ALL of the weight loss surgeries and make sure you choose the right one for you. Each is good for a specific type of eater and gainer. Are they even appropriate for you? I understand that sometimes it takes a drastic change to get the needed weight loss but seriously... learn all you can first. Maybe this is an option, maybe not. Good luck with whatever decision you come to. I would be happy to be your buddy whatever you decide :) 

Seems like an extreme statement to make... I am just such a fighter, and this brings out the fighter in me, obviously. lol :) If there is anything I can do to try to help you, please let me know. I am a great encourager. Is there any medical conditions that you are working with that need to be addressed as well? Please, don't hesitate to share. :) You are in great hands of a very caring community of family/friends here that can be very helpful and I'm betting that surgery can be avoided, if you let us help you out. ;) Feel free to email me privately and add as many of us Beachers for friends as you can... it's an amazing group! :) xoxo ~bully :) 

Do some online research - it can be dangerous. Not only that but take a look at all the FAT celebrities who had the surgery and got fat again. Do the people on the "Biggest Loser" ever resort to Lap Band surgery? NO. First cut out sugar in all forms out of your diet and white processed bread and give it a few weeks, then start MOVING. The people on here who are stalled long-term are NOT exercising. I didn't long-term much because of arthritis and I still lost over sixty pounds. This is not a cure-all. Don't expect it to be. You went to that doctor. Maybe you need to find one who will give you the proper nutritional support and perhaps tune in the "Biggest Loser" every week too or tape it for motivation. Being overweight is NOT a lifelong sentence. I lost the weight on medicine that makes one retain weight - you can do it if YOU believe in yourself and only you can make that change... Good luck. 

ok, call me hard hitting and without much sympathy, but under 200 lbs, doesn't seem "surgically necessary". Does your dr. know about the vodka and spree candy? I am not trying to judge you - but faithfully log your food intake - and choose wisely based on whatever "weightloss plan" you are following - do this for 2 weeks and attempt to eat wholesome foods at aprox 1500 Calories - then re-assess. I don't buy it...I don't see based on the info you have logged on here with - evidence that you are working your own plan. It's in you...dig deep. 

At 198 pounds I don't think your BMI would be over 40 and most surgical procedure for weight loss will not even look at you if you have a BMI of less than 40. I am also a RN and I have seen far too many pple gain back all of the weight they have lost after weight loss surgery plus even more. It is not a fix all if you cannot change the mindset that made you fat in the first place. I know pple who have the surgery and keep eating their chocolate bars and pizza and then cry cause they gain all the weight back.. If you think like a fat person and are just using the surgery as a tool to lose weight you are doomed to fail... You have to find out what made you fat in the first place or you will always be fat.... Surgery will not fix that at all...  

We'll be more disappointed than you if you don't make it through this dangerous, risky surgery that oftentimes doesn't work long-term because many gain the weight right back... 

I believe that all of us are to support you and be here for you.... first and foremost! Focus on the positive here. Look at the people that are here looking to encourage you for the right reasons. After reading some of the comments, I can see how many people are here to encourage and support you, and I can see that if I were fragile that some of it may be taken a bit in a wrong way, so don't look at any of it that way. KNOW that we are all here ONLY to support and encourage you! :) Let us know what we can do to help in supporting you!! xoxo 

You don't even weigh 200 pounds and you *need* a lapband!? I'm coming into the story a little late but, what could possibly be the reasoning behind that statement? Would you consider getting a second opinion?  

I believe you need a second opinion. Remember, a lot of doctors are out to make money and aren't looking out for your best interest. I can't believe anyone would suggest that you "can't" lose weight- under 200lb?? I'd think you'd be healthier to just maintain your weight than undergo this dangerous surgery. I have a buddy on another diet site who was 350 pounds and her doctor told her she would never lose weight without gastric bypass. That gave her the motivation to get a new doctor and to date she has lost over 100 pounds through simple diet and exercise. You are going to have to eat less, either way. Whether you do it by choice or you do it because of surgery. Doing it by choice seems to me a much better option. 

I agree with your Dr. where you previously said he wanted you to lose 70#, but Lapband? I agree with all the others, you are NOT a candidate for that kind of surgery. You might try (as another writer said) a daily caloric intake of about 1500 calories and "log in" everybite you eat. Eat smart, lower the alcohol and "bad" foods consumption and start with good wholesome foods, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, etc. Start planning out your meals so you know in advance what you are eating. It's easier to have something to look at when you start each day. You don't need lapband surgery, you need buddy help to keep you on the straight & narrow road. We are all here for you, AND, we care. I have seen people who have had this done and because they thought they could now eat away, they gained it all back, became quite sick, and wasted all their money and time. I think you need a new doctor. 

My husband had lap band last June but had to do extensive classes prior to the surgery and the doctor made it quite clear to him that it WOULD NOT work if you don't change your mindset, your attitude toward food and your lifestyle. He had serious health issues and now takes no medicines after losing weight but he watches his carb intake daily and tries to get in some sort of physical activity at least 5 days per week. Many people thing they can have this surgery and sit back and let it happen and it will not happen that way. He attends a support group monthly but has exceded even the doctor's expectations so yes, this surgery will work but why at your weight turn to surgery when you've got the same guidelines with a low carb diet? BTW, the pre-diet for the lap band is very restrictive and my hubby lost 20 lbs in 2 weeks on that alone.  

On a side note, I find it interesting when people refer to the fat gene, or how fat runs in the family. In my humble opinion, overeating is a learned behavior. We are fat, simply because we overeat, and eat the wrong foods. We can blame anything for being fat: heredity, stress, medications, depression, lonliness, injuries, but bottome line, we are fat, because we choose to be. I gained a 100 lbs, while recovering from a severe trauma in which I was placed on Sterioids. I gained 100 lbs in 4 months. In the beginning I would blame the meds and the fact I couldn't walk for my gain. Then one day I realized that I was allowing those bumps in the road to dictate my weight, and who I was. I was making myself into a victim, and it sounds like you're doing that also. I would think twice about going to any MD who does not recommend healthy dietary changes, or who does not monitor you for weeks before drawing that conclusion. For me, I decided that fat was not an option any more, I knew I had to modify my diet to compensate the medications and lack of excercise. I have lost 80 lbs since September 21st, and all that it required was loving myself more than the taste of food. All the previous posts were dead on, including the spree candy and vodka comment. We are what we eat...if you don't learn to deal with it, and learn new behaviors, you are wasting ten's of thousands of dollars that could be spent on your home, clothes, a vacation, a donation to a worthy cause...we can't avoid that losing weight is hard work, we should have thought of this when we were shoveling food in...if you're a fat thinker, nothing will help in the long run.  

Take a good look at what 8 words have produced for you :) Loving, caring, sensitive people who are MORE THAN willing to help, if you want. Best of luck to you in your decisions. 

Telling the truth is better than being a co-dependant. 

Obviously we all don't know the whole story here... whether there is health issues, abuse, age, disabilities, allergies or what your circumstances might be. I noticed that you had marked "this is some of what I ate" for the journal... I'm wondering if you are eating a good balanced breakfast, and getting your metabolism started for the day, too? Please know that we are not here to "judge you", ... we are here to help to support and and be here for you as friend, encouragers, listeners, cheerleaders, and we can be good sounding boards to bounce idea's off of, too! :) I just want you KNOW that we are HERE TO BE HERE for you to be helpful and friends! :) I don't want you to come her and read some of your comments and feel attacked or threatened. KNOW that some of the statements may have come out a bit different than intended and it is ONLY because we know how frustrating and hard it is to be where you are... to feel so 'alone' in needing to be healthier and feeling like there isn't a lot of help in doing so. WE ARE ALL HERE!! Let us HELP you. :) Let us be your friends... journal every day, even if only a little bit and let us know how we can help out. :)  

k8yk said it all and usemyotheraddy told her story well too. The main thing is you have to eat less. It is no way to live on such small amounts of food all the time and then just gain the weight back. Think about staying on here long-term and getting a serious exercise regimen in at a local gym. Machines at home won't work if you're not using them...