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Ok, So the number is going down slowly but surely!! down 1.9 since last week...245!! I will take it, but as usual, my self doubt is getting ready to ransack my efforts. I have been on Christmas break for the last 5 weeks, but break is ending and my Spring semester, my final semester before I graduate from graduate school with my Masters In Social Work!!! Im excited, because I have been busting my ass at this for 2 years now. I currently have a 3.92 GPA, which is not an easy feat when you have 2 kids, a full-time job, an internship, and try to have some pathetic version of a social life. HOWEVER, when I am forced to be up all night writing 15-20 page papers, and I have to wake up at 3am in order to study, becase the night before was filled with high school football games and wrestling matches, and family nights, and sick babies, and homework, etc. etc. The only thing I find comforting is to be eating while I am doing it....Sounds sad, but I somehow feel like, "If I have to be up and I have to be working and I haven't slept for more than 5 hours since I can remember, I am going to start off by eating a bacon egg and cheese croissant from DD with a Large Vanilla Iced Coffee with cream and sugar, AND a peanut butter and jelly donut (remember this may all happen at 2 or 3am) So, before most people have even thought about pressing snooze, I have consumed almost 1000 calories. Now, I have figures out a better way to eat, added my exercise, but what am I going to do when everything else in my life is pushed to the side in order to get this degree, do I really have to give up my comfort foods. Im really scared, I may not have the will power to do it, and am seriously considering giving up until May when I graduate and then trying again. But, that would mess up my idea of being less than 200 by my birthday or when I graduate and get to wear the cap and gown (so many pics and memories of the fat me will exist if I do that). I dont know maybe Im looking for some symptahy or someone to agree with me so I dont have to feel guilty if I give up.....
HAPPy because I have lost 6 lbs. so far, but still SAD
KNOW what my priorities are, but still CONFUSED
CONFIDENT that I can complete this degree and get my MSW, but still CONFUSED....
Oh well, I'm still in it for today.....
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245.0 lb
Lost so far: 6.9 lb.
Still to go: 55.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 11 January 2010:
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1654 kcal
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Fat: 53.43g | Prot: 67.08g | Carb: 231.83g.
Breakfast: coffee , French Vanilla Coffee Creamer, milk, Butter (Salted), multigrain bread Arnold, cheerios. Lunch: delmonte fruit cup, Sunshine Cheez-It 100 Calorie Right Bites, Lean Gourmet Chicken Alfredo Florentine. Dinner: Italian Sausage, Ziti, Vodka Pasta Sauce. Snacks/Other: pop secret 100 calorie popcorn. more...
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3283 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (exercise) - 3.5/mph - 20 minutes, Desk Work - 8 hours, Resting - 7 hours and 40 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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losing 2.2 lb a week
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