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I'm all over the place.
My emotions are out of control and so is my diet. Everyday what I eat and how much bounces all over the charts. I feel like I need some sort of food schedule or plan in order to reach my goal weight. I might try and do up some sort of plan tonight. As for my emotions--I have just recently discovered how blissfully unaware I was of how utterly unhappy I am. I'm in a course in college to get a career that someone else wants me to have, I'm starting a job (tomorrow) that's 11pm-7am because I have to, and I graduated high school with one friend. One. One who has recently gotten a job at the same place as me, but ironically we will see each other less because our hours are not the same. I never noticed how alone and lost I was. I don't know what I want to do with my life--I've always been told what to do and never stopped to ask myself what it was I wanted. Tonight Adam told me he will support me in whatever I want to do. The sad part is, I have no idea what that is. No wonder I've gained 20 lbs out of the blue (well, not really..I'm sure it wasn't all over night ;) lol). I need to think. A lot.
-Candace
Diet Calendar Entries for 03 February 2008:
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1406 kcal
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Fat: 52.99g | Prot: 51.73g | Carb: 186.10g.
Breakfast: slim-fast optima french vanilla drink. Lunch: lettuce , Zesty Italian Dressing Calorie-Wise, Salmon Smoked All Dressed. Dinner: slim-fast optima french vanilla drink. Snacks/Other: Rice Crackers Onion, carrot cake, margarine, roll, kiwi, apple. more...
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1546 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 30 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
Don't get down on yourself, hon. You are young and it is normal to not know what you want to do with your life at your age. I was a lot like you when I was your age. I was a loner in highschool, always struggling with my weight, dropped out of university because I was persuing a career my parents thought was better for me than I what I really wanted, etc. But I got a regular job and met my husband a few years later. I have been happily married for almost 18 years and have a beautiful 16 year old daughter. This may not have been where I had envisioned myself to be but it is a good place, all the same. You have what sounds to be a very supportive boyfriend, you're young and have a world of possibilities ahead of you. Don't worry so much. Things have a way of working themselves out. You will do fine.
03 Feb 08 by member: evelyn64
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I'm sure we have all felt the same as you and not just while being young. Look around your college, I'm sure that there are much older people taking classes there and some of them still don't know what they really want to do with their lives. I feel that you shouldn't be so criticle about what ever it is you decide to do. For me, I get bored with every job I have within 3 years. I picked a job and said "that is it." Will I like it? I don't know, but it will pay money and there are many different places I could work. For me a job is a job. I'm just hoping to get a degree. Life will throw so many unexpected things your way and the only way to cope is to go with the flow. If you don't like your program of study, maybe you can look for another degree that uses the credits you have already accumulated. I took a silly quiz online for the job right for me and it gave me some option and I picked one. Now I am forcing myself to finish because I'm tired of being a quiter and I will get a degree in something. I want a degree so my future children will hopefully want to accomplish something too. Unfortunately I know many people with degrees who are not able to put it to use. My sister never went to college and she makes more money than my mom who has gone to school for many years. Don't beat yourself up! I would rather work at McDonalds and be poor than be rich and stressed out! Enjoy your life! Good luck!
04 Feb 08 by member: skitz600
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