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Can I be absolutely honest with everybody? Here we go. Time to be honest. I was thinking about dropping the first 50 ibs. today and I think that I was feeling scared. Scared of what, really? Not really sure. It's one of those emotional aspects of losing weight I guess. I cannot fear change. Change is what I want. I just feel that I have been big for a long time. Maybe I feel like I will have some identity issues. Maybe I am thinking that weight is overpowering my person. Maybe I place a huge emphasis on my weight. Maybe my "weight issues" are taking over my life. I need to really get away from this way of thinking. Honestly, I was criticized my entire life by family members especially my grandmother. She always criticizes people to a fault. We never receive constructive criticism from her. I guess that's where it stems from. I just have to get away from that way of thinking. Don't get me wrong...I am excited about all of the possibilities that are ahead of me. I have been down to 190 pounds at one point and it felt great. I guess that I am very excited and nervous at the same time. Has anybody ever been through this??? We can DO it!
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