Tarla's Journal, 09 May 2012

I am really amazed with myself. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and have tried to lose weight many, many times before. I usually was successful and would drop some weight but life would always get in the way and I would start slacking and eventually stop my diet and the weight would come back with a vengeance.

It always seemed like it was an unwinnable battle that I would have to keep fighting for the rest of my life. I would get up to around my heaviest weight (at the time) and then I would know that I had to do something about it, and I would, but once I got back down to a comfortable weight (that would only be like 25-30 pound loss) and could see a change, I would slow down or stop my diet all together and all the weight that I had lost plus some would come back within a couple of months (sometimes not even).

It was always about fad diets and what kind of new weight loss trend was out there. Some magical remedy that worked for a friend of a friend of a friend, and if it had worked so well for her then it just had to work for me. But they absolutely never worked, for me anyways. Maybe the friend of a friend of a friend of mine just had better genes than me? Or maybe I was just destined to be a fatty all of my life? Or… maybe I just needed to give my head a shake, wake up, and really get on board…with my LIFE.

This whole time I have been beating myself up, day after day, month after month, thinking that there was something wrong with me, thinking my body just wasn’t made for being skinny (I was big boned and going to have to live with it). But the truth is my body is made to be whatever the hell I want it to be! If I eat like a pig, my body will look like I’m a pig and if I’m a lazy ass and don’t exercise or take care of myself then my body will feel and look like shit. The only way to feel good and look good is to take care of yourself, on the inside and out. This is what I have been learning over the past few months.

When I started this “life style change” last June or July (off and on, I only got really dedicated to my change since about March 2012) I was tipping the scales at a whopping 345 pounds, the heaviest weight I have very been in my entire life. After meeting my Husband, falling in love and getting married, I was very comfortable and the weight just kept piling on. It was my worst nightmare. Then I woke up and realized that this was the perfect time in my life to make a wack load of changes and start doing positive things for my husband, kids and most importantly for me!

I have only just started this journey but I am very proud of myself for what I have accomplished so far. I have lost a total of 50 pounds to date and about 200 pounds of bad habits, destructive behavior, and self pity. I know I still have a long way to go but at this point in my life I feel happier than I have ever felt and I know it is only going to get better every day from here on in. I have left all those horrible self images and doubts about myself in the past and I am working towards a new amazing (and skinny) self image!

Diet Calendar Entries for 09 May 2012:
1725 kcal Fat: 38.90g | Prot: 142.62g | Carb: 206.88g.   Breakfast: Fat Free Greek Yogurt, protein, Water, watermelon. Lunch: Hearts Of Palm (Canned), cheese, tomatoes, mayo, lettus, bread, chicken breast. Dinner: Soybeans (Mature Seeds, Steamed, Cooked), Sushi with Vegetables, Sunomono Salad. Snacks/Other: wheat thins, Large Coffee Double Double, Protein Diet Chocolate Mint Bar. more...
5121 kcal Activities & Exercise: Weight Training (moderate) - 1 hour, Bicycling (very fast) - 17.5/mph - 45 minutes, Resting - 14 hours and 15 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...

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Comments 
A great journal entry, Tarla! Your image is looking very good so far! 
09 May 12 by member: DairyKing
Thanks DK!! 
09 May 12 by member: Tarla
PUMP IT UP!! 
09 May 12 by member: Rpalmst
I am proud of you too! So happy to hear the change in outlook and passion. You ARE doing this, yea!!! Keep up the great work girl, your future awaits. 
09 May 12 by member: Honestly
AWESOME! Definitely a great journal entry, Tarla. I'm so happy for you. WTG! 
09 May 12 by member: Helewis
That's a lot to be proud of. Keep it up.  
09 May 12 by member: JessWhatINeeded
WTG You are doing Awesome! 
09 May 12 by member: wichitaks
Amazing journal. I seriously got goosebumps reading the last paragraph!!! 
09 May 12 by member: erika2633
So happy for you! realizing all of this...is most of the battle. =) 
09 May 12 by member: HerStrawberri
Fantastic achievement thus far.... Here's to the next few months :-£ 
09 May 12 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
It looks like you got it! I found I had to ready for it. This time me is going much different and I also don't feel like I am on a diet, but on a life change. I just wish it was easier to show/teach others how this works, LOL 
09 May 12 by member: Soulnoid
Loved this..you have to take care of you..no one else can..Congrats..:O) 
09 May 12 by member: BHA
Thanks everyone! You guys are an amazing support system and I couldn't have done it (or continue to do it) without you!! You guys rock!! 
10 May 12 by member: Tarla

     
 

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