screwed up yesterday :/ i've been dealing with a lot of past trauma and been diagnosed with PTSD... yesterday i just didn't see the point of getting healthy when everything feels so miserable. I ate everything i could get my hands on.
I know, there is a point. I know my brain is telling me things that arent true. I know i have used body fat as a defense mechanism against sexual abuse and i know that i dont need to do that anymore. i know i am safe... i just dont feel safe.
But i also know i want another baby. I know in a few months my husband and i want to try again. (after multiple miscarriages) I know that the better i get a handle on this food stuff now, the better my body will be to be a home for a little one.
today i am taking comfort in my daughter, coloring and music instead of food.
Diet Calendar Entry for 17 February 2017:
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1666 kcal
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Fat: 129.17g | Prot: 87.32g | Carb: 35.66g.
Breakfast: Milk (2% Lowfat Without Added Vitamin A and Nonfat Solids). Lunch: Wegmans Peeled Baby Carrots, America's Choice Bacon Thick Sliced, Kraft Marble Cheese. Dinner: Trader Joe's Hass Avocado, Skinless Chicken Breast, Bacon, Ranch Salad Dressing, Dole Romaine Lettuce, Kroger Marbled Cheddar Cheese. Snacks/Other: McDonald's Premium Roast Coffee (Large), Cocoa Powder, Land O'Lakes Salted Butter, Philadelphia Regular Cream Cheese, Heavy Cream, Heavy Cream, Tea (Brewed), Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter. more...
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Comments
Those sound like wonderful things to focus on. You can do this!!!!!
17 Feb 17 by member: gokona
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Keep your focus on your beautiful daughter and you'll do it! Good Luck!
17 Feb 17 by member: Lucygirl1
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Bryden, I hope you are involved in an abuse support group -- You did not screw up yesterday -- You are dealing with alot of stuff and you cope with it the best you know how. Be generous with yourself, Today is a new day and you already know your triggers. You sound like a wonderful mom. Hugs
17 Feb 17 by member: Stringofpearls
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thank you all and string of pearls i teared up at yours, thank you. I am looking for groups, i find actually reaching out in person so difficult. i so appreciate the support i get here, makes me feel like i might find it in a group setting.
17 Feb 17 by member: Brydenbabe22
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17 Feb 17 by member: Stringofpearls
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when I feel down I turn on dance music, I clean , dance lol or even dance with my 5 year old. it puts me in a better mood! we all have our not so good days. chin up girl, u can do this! don't let one off day set u back. I know it's easier said then done. turn up the music sing, dance..you will feel better :)
18 Feb 17 by member: erink78
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Everyone screws up sometimes when trying to lose weight Brydenbabe22. Give yourself a break :) I screw up often when I'm trying, but I have finally got to the point where I just straighten up instead of saying I screwed up so I might as well eat whatever. Try not to think about the past - think about the future you with your new baby :)
18 Feb 17 by member: sblair9
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