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Another gain - this is really disappointing me. I hadn't been aiming for it specifically, but I realize now that Memorial Day is looming heavy on the horizon. I get to go to my hometown over the long weekend, and I wanted to have lost 20 lbs when I went. My town is tiny, and even though I don't go home more than 2 or 3 times a year, I still know and run into a ton of people I know any time I go. I think I'd been subconsciously using that for some incentive, and now suddenly it seems like I won't make the goal.
I can't believe how long it's been since I actually lost anything. In the beginning, I was losing so easily that I (stupidly) assumed that I would be able to continue until I was content with my weight. Now I'm feeling like it doesn't matter whether I eat well or not. Nothing's making the fat go! There is the issue of PMS, water weight, and STILL, the chronic constipation. All of this is tied directly to my stinkin' birth control, which just sucks. Doc insisted I use OC for prep for my sterilization surgery, which I now can't have since my insurance won't cover it. I've never had hormone swings like this while breastfeeding before, and I've had troubles with OC in the past, but Doc insists it's necessary. I'm seriously tired of feeling angry and disappointed all the time. I want to be myself again!
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172.0 lb
Lost so far: 45.0 lb.
Still to go: 12.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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gaining 1.8 lb a week
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