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It's almost a new year, I was really excited, now I've lost all my steam lol. I've been doing so well with my days eating-wise, but then by night time I'd eat something 'bad' ie chips and dip/sugary cereal. It's that time of the month, and its actually like ten days early which is a little odd, so maybe that explains my being emotional this week? I can't tell if its that or I've not been working out like usual? which came first the chicken or the egg, lol. While I'm so super excited abut what I've been able to accomplish since June, I still can't shake the feeling of being 'fat'. I'm not even stepping on the scale, last time I checked I was 169 which is a-okay with me, I'm glad its not 172, and for some reason I always have that +/- 3lb thing. I feel like it's very black/white you're either fat or skinny. People don't care if you're healthy, they just assume fat=bad skinny=good so I may be healthier/fitter/have more endurance then my 5'10/140lb friend who subsists on 'bad foods', but i'm still 'the fat/thick one'. Part of me knows this is all in my head, but I can't shake it for some reason, and I hope it's just a phase that will hopefully not find its way into 2010. Since i'm not where I want to be, which I'm not even sure of most times b/c I don't even know what 153/148lbs looks like on me, nore do I know how I'll look @ 15/18% body fat. I feel like I'll be more confident, secure in my own skin, but I'm a perfectionist virgo who will def find something wrong w. that as well. Sorry for the lack of chipperness (I may have just made that one up, lol), but I'd be lying if I tried to sugar coat my feelings right now, and I know on a site like this someone's had to think the same thing, lol I hope. While I'm still skeptical about investing in another degree, I'm really interested in getting a Masters in Nutrition
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