Nimm's Journal, 13 May 2011

My weight has been bouncing around so much it's hard to tell whether I'm actually maintaining, gaining, or even somehow still losing - although the last seems unlikely.

In theory, I am actually trying to gain weight, in the form of lean muscle mass. In practice, I am still having a hard time not being upset when the scale is higher than the day before - even though I know any mass gains are likely more muscle than fat, it's still hard to internalize, so I instinctively start trying to restrict the calories again. This isn't helpful. Growing 1 to 2 lbs of muscle per month is a reasonable goal, and that muscle is itself going to be accompanied by more weight in glycogen. So, I have to accept the scale going up at least a few pounds per month.

That's happened - a little. It looks like I may be about 1 to 2 pounds heavier than when I started P90X. I've been worrying about that, concerned that I'm just putting on body fat again, instead of muscle. Despite the lack of evidence for this.

WELL, just today I'm noticing that my pants - the one pair I have that fit well, which I bought maybe 4 or 6 weeks ago - are a little bit loose. So, this is a good thing. The scale may be moving upward, but it's not showing up around my waist apparently.

This is putting my mind at ease. Hopefully it'll help me relax and just let the growth happen...

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1216 kcal

Fat: 51.35g | Prot: 66.62g | Carb: 138.04g.   Breakfast: blueberries, coffee, Flaxseed Seeds, 100% Casein Protein Powder Gold Standard - Creamy Vanilla, quaker oats, barney butter, EB egg. Lunch: cocoa roast almonds, carrot, Frozen Edamame - Organic Soybeans in Pods, Mocha Peanut Butter, Flavor & Fiber Bars - Banana Walnut. Snacks/Other: kind bar, Beef Jerky. more...