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FAT IS BACK
I weigh 145 today and am punishing myself with chocolate and chinese food. Stress derails me every time. I am trying to react differently-really I am, hence this journal entry. Hopefully by "speaking" out and I can lessen the helplessness and inevitable self blame and destructiveness that goes along with it..
I feel quite lonely. My husband is busy self medicating with pizza and wine, my stepson is self involved (natural at his age) and thinks that eating white rice for dinner is "dieting".
I think the weight will fall. I have gotten to 145 a few times these last weeks and it always goes back to 143/141. I guess I will "enjoy" being 141 if I get down again. I swear I won't whine for at least 2 weeks.
Things are super busy-I know how lucky I am to have work-but 14-16 hr days are not good-it's a terrible way to live. I am hiring help but he cannot start until June 12. I started on a new project this week and it's a time drain. I am afraid i am stealing from Peter to pay Paul and Paul is going to catch on soon. It's like a house of cards. Multi-tasker or incredibly stupid? What would Oprah say?
Oi Vey!
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 Comments
Oi vey, what would oprah say?? Perhaps she'd say something smart about your vajayjay(sp?) not having an issue atleast. sorry if thats outta line but she says that word a lot. Oh dear, what is going on with us!?!?!?!?!?!?! who will help us now?? who told your step son white rice was -nevermind. Boy, you are stuck w/ two guys that aren't very usefull right now, Im not helping am I? Im sorry I have no help either, I must journal about it myself! bleh.
29 May 09 by member: cindyshine
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What's done is done. It's so interesting how we end up punishing/rewarding ourselves w/sweets, treats, etc. rather than w/something more productive like a nice stroll in the park or something~! I've been saying the same thing to myself...rather than reaching for food, what else can I be doing instead? This is a struggle for many. You are not alone. Awareness and self-love is key. June 12th will be here soon. Hang in there. Thanks for sharing. ((HUGS))
30 May 09 by member: JulieC
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Wow....we are SOOOO alike, aren't we? Hang in there Sister, and DON'T GIVE UP! It is good that you journaled about it and wrote down your feelings. Hope it helped you feel better (although the Chinese and chocolate sound REALLY good right now...LOL) Hope June 12 comes quickly for you! Love ya! :)
30 May 09 by member: mbhpro
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((((((hugs))))) I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed right now. Hang in there! Please don't punish yourself with food. It just makes things worse! Easier said than done, I know. I wish I lived close by so I could help with your work load! ((((((hugs))))))
30 May 09 by member: amryk
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You guys are great! Amy-you floor me-do you realize how busy you are?!! I know you mean it too! I had a little come-to-Jesus with myself and am feeling and doing better. It's summer and that means sugar free fudgsicles! I can get my choco fix and not worry about cals-and one 40 cal pop does the trick. The pity party is officially over. Thank you for your support-it makes all the difference.
31 May 09 by member: Densible
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