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"You have such a pretty face!"
I hear it all the time. Sure, it's a compliment. Compliments don't come so often when you're the size of a small water buffalo. I should take it with a smile and thank you, yet I always feel like stabbing the person with a blunt pencil when they mutter those dreadful words to me. It's never, "you're so pretty" unless it's coming from a close friend. Even then, you can almost hear the unmuttered continuation of that statement (,but you really should try to drop a few pounds.)
So here I am,
And here are the facts:
I will be 32 on February 13, 2011.
I am starting this journal at 315 pounds.
I make no excuses for my weight.
I love food.
Food does not love me.
I am married to James.
He doesn't care about my weight, in fact, he married me at 340 pounds.
I don't like myself very much.
I am starting to hate mirrors.
My "booth phobia" has returned (am I going to fit in that booth?)
I feel ashamed of myself in public lately.
I am just coming off of a very hard dose of depression that developed as a result of financial and marital hardships.
I have fought my way through that depression.
I will fight my way through this as I am.. a fighter.
I have a son. He is almost 7.
I do not exercise as I should.
I am addicted to sugary foods.
I want to be a size 12.
Seems like I laid it all out pretty well for you. Time to get going then...
xPRETTYxFACEx
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