2ManyCurves's Journal, 21 March 2014

It has been seven days since my husband had his last cigarette. I'm seeing a lot of improvement in his energy level and memory. Last night he started raging over his lack of nicotine. I talked him into taking a short walk with me and then messing with a few of our elderly horses that we are rehabbing from their own health issues. We walked a total of .75 miles. Not much, but enough to get his mind off smoking at least during that time when it was taking all his strength to walk and breath. March Madness (Basketball is king in Kentucky, for those of you unaware) started yesterday. I feared that him watching the Louisville game would send him into another heart attack. They are, afterall, nicknamed the Cardiac Cards. I dozed off and missed all of the excitement. I know, I know...wifey of the year.

I am a bit annoyed at the public school system. I received a phone call yesterday afternoon regarding an ARC meeting that was unilaterally scheduled for Monday (a time I could not be present to attend). ARC meetings are to develop IEPs for students with special education needs. Our daughter had been on an IEP for a learning disability in Math since she was in the third grade. I reported to the Assessor that I was just given the appointment slip the day prior and would not be able to attend. That was met with a great protest from her over date compliance, etc. with an assertion that the notice had been sent home some time ago with our daughter. Let's see...you have a child with a learning disability, attention deficit issues, etc. and you send her home with important documentation to give to her parents and you expect that she will in fact deliver the documentation. Needless to say, I don't know when the appointment paper was sent home, but it was not surprisingly undelivered by our daughter until the day before I received the phone call demanding my presence. I agreed to attend the meeting earlier (this morning) so that the school could maintain their all-so-important compliance. I attended the meeting to find out that our daughter's IQ is in the same exact range as the last testing and her math assessment had now fallen to what is in the 2nd percentile of all peers her age. YET, the school insists that she should not be on an IEP now. So....she scores in the 2nd percentile, but should be in regular classes with no additional resources so that they can applaud themselves for graduating a student (who shows no objective improvement) into regular classes. The only sense this makes to me is that the school wants to show a false success at the risk of our daughter failing to perform in regular classes. I mean...how much worse could it be??? One percentile of her peers??? I truly feel they are more concerned with their "compliance" than educating our daughter. They repeatedly told me that the IQ compared to her low math score takes her out of eligibility for special resource programs. And, of course, they wanted me to sign off agreeing to all of this. To which, I asked for a due process hearing before the Board of Education. Doing this, I thought would buy me some time to where I could have a psycho-educational evaluation performed by someone not employed by the same organization that is striving to show that they are able successful moving students out of special education. I could tell they were quite annoyed with me and for a moment I felt ganged up on by the assessor, counselor, spec. ed teacher and other teacher. For a very brief second, I just wanted to cry. The assessor suggested that our daughter's IQ wasn't consistent with her math score. She went on to suggest to me that she felt the stigma attached to being in special education classes was detrimental to our daughter. I am cognizant that many kids in special needs classes feel bullied or ridiculed. But, it felt like she was merely trying to pressure me to go along with the program and agree to her being removed from these services that I feel she needs just so that our daughter won't feel stigmatized. I felt my anger flare. Maybe I am just emotional right now and offended by their insistence of compliance when I am already trying to juggle my job, taking care of the kids, a farm full of needy horses and my husband post-heart attack. As I felt suffocated and pushed back into a corner by this group of educators who all felt they know what is best for our daughter, I decided I would find my voice again and push back. I demanded they review external documents verifying her status. I demanded an answer as to how they could justify removing a child from services when she scores only in the 2nd percentile. And, I suggested that I would appeal the matter to federal court should I not prevail at a Due Process Hearing before the board. I could tell they were all quite annoyed with my tantrum. But, I could also tell that they realized I wouldn't just succumb to the pressure. So, at this moment, everything stays the same. Meanwhile I must now scramble to line up an objective pscyho-ed assessor. If my daughter does test out with a second opinion, I am supportive of that. But, at this point, I cannot reconcile the extremely low percentile ranking with their proposed plan of action. I want her to succeed. No one wants their child to need special education classes. There is no financial benefit to my family. All we are talking about is her having a little extra help from teachers, a slower paced class and more time on college entrance exams. It takes her longer to learn and retain information. That is all. She just learns differently. Yet, it feels like such a fight.

In the food arena: I have been consistent with eating less than 5 ounces of meat a day. The husband has went without meat for two days now. While he ended up stopping at Subway for lunch with my father yesterday, he opted for the veggie sub. I purchased a few veggie alternatives yesterday when I stopped by the grocery briefly: veggie hotdogs, Boca Burgers, veggie pepperonis, etc. I believe tonight I will make a whole wheat pizza using veggie pepperonis, spinach, tomatoes, green peppers, and fat free mozzarella. It really isn't that terrible going vegetarian so far. I spent some time reading up on Dr. Joel Fuhrman. I'd seen him in several documentaries and also mention of him in a few of your journals. Much of what he says just makes sense to me. I don't know how my weight is going to respond to this dietary adjustment. I was pretty happy that I only consumed 10 grams of fat yesterday. But, I've blown that out of the water this morning with 2 ounces of cashews for breakfast.

Exercise: None tonight. I always try to have a day of rest prior to a race. I'm looking forward to the ten mile run tomorrow. I need to hit the pavement for some emotional release.

It's a beautiful day today. While this morning started with some adversity, I am happy to feel the sun on my face even if I am just walking to my car. I am also looking forward to going home for lunch just to see my husband's face and wrap my arms around him. Life is good, even in the face of opposition.

2MC

Diet Calendar Entries for 21 March 2014:
1433 kcal Fat: 64.52g | Prot: 72.67g | Carb: 150.72g.   Breakfast: Sargento Colby Jack Cheese Sticks, Egg, Beer Nuts Cashews. Lunch: Hurst's HamBeens Pinto Beans with Ham Flavor. Dinner: Tomatoes, Baby Spinach, Green Peppers, Yves Veggies Meatless Pepperoni, Kraft Fat Free Shredded Mozzarella Cheese, Kroger Pizza Sauce, Mama Mary's 100% Whole Wheat Pizza Crust. Snacks/Other: Red Mango Original Flavor, Blue Diamond Natural Oven Roasted Almonds - Dark Chocolate. more...
1827 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 24 hours. more...

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Comments 
Oh dear, you really do seem to have it all to contend with at the moment. Glad to hear hubby is now home, and despite the nicotine cravings, is making progress in the right direction. Schools can be a real nightmare at times - I do hope that you and your daughter manage to get an outcome that is what she needs, not what school want. In the face of all this, you are doing brilliantly on your diet, and all your running is putting me to shame! 
21 Mar 14 by member: clairebuxton
So much on your plate and you're handling it beautifully by taking care of you. Nicotine withdraw is tough; once the reminder of mortality wears off and being invincible returns he may have a tough go getting past the craving - maybe the doc can be made aware he's trying and give a mild srs or something to take the edge off while he's trying to make all of the other changes. It's a big turn and you all need all the help you can get. I haven't smoked since 2000 and there are times when it's all I can think about, esp when stressed. I haven't but I want to. If he's been smoking a long time it's like giving up sugar for most of us here. 
21 Mar 14 by member: FullaBella

     
 

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