|
Nightmares.
The past few nights when I am getting sleep it is not peaceful. Last night I had an awful nightmare. How come you can remember the bad ones but not the great ones?
It was set in my birthmothers house. All of my nightmares are in that house. It makes sense I guess seeing as that house was terrifying in real life for me. It was my husband my youngest daughter and oldest daughter. We woke up to knocking and banging on the door. We went down to the door to a car full of thugs with weapons, they saw us we ran. We went and hide in the closet in the bedroom. Side note- I spent a lot of time in that closet. It was a comfort to me to be in there, it was a large walk in full of clothes and a dresser and I could hide. Back to the dream we were all in the closet and k love was playing. Praise music was on in the middle of this. It was dark the kids were quiet we all held hands. right before the men opened the door I woke up.
When I was in therapy years ago the therapist told me to calm down after a nightmare and then shut my eyes and finish the dream. Finish it the way I want it to finish. So I did, I backed up and before going up the steps I opened the back door. Then before they opened the closet door they realized the back door was open and left. I called 911 and all was right in the world.
When I did wake up from the dream the first time I prayed. I know that God doesnt give me the spirit of fear (2 Tim 1:7). I knew this dream was not from Him. While praying though I felt the Holy Spirit speaking. He said that I am avoiding temptation during the day, reading my Bible a lot more than ever before and daily, praying through temptation and doing well. Why would satan not try to get me back to who I was? The person bound by food. My mind was constantly on my next fix and now its on God and learning more, yearning more, a hunger on for Him.
I usually dont analyze a dream but today it hit me. The house is a source of pain and hurt and danger in my mind. satan knows it. The closet was my safe haven. And last night God was still there, He was showing me He was there with me protecting me via the klove music on. Why would anyone have music playing while hiding from danger? It could only be God reminding me like only a loving Father can that He is there, when I am going through it He is saying," I am here. You arent alone." I love Him so.
Today I am grateful for
1 The 2 fantastic nurses we have for our son.
2 God telling me I am His and showing me with all the blessings He provides.
3 Snowy days with nothing to do but stay in jammies and look at all the snow from a warm house.
4 That I am craving God more than food
5 That the scale is not the only thing I think about during the day. It is not all consuming.
Be blessed
Diet Calendar Entries for 21 January 2011:
|
1348 kcal
|
Fat: 50.64g | Prot: 64.54g | Carb: 166.38g.
Breakfast: yoplait whips, strawberry cream cheese, blueberry bagel. Lunch: cascadian farm organic garden medley, potato. Dinner: sweet sausage. Snacks/Other: chocolate granola bar south beach. more...
|
|
2673 kcal
|
Activities & Exercise:
Dance (fast step, aerobic) - 1 hour, Resting - 15 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
|
|